Anonymity is a state some of us take for granted, and which some of us crave. It can be achieved by a costume you change into in a phone box, or by leading a calm existence, keeping your alter-ego at bay. For Heath Franklin anonymity is found by simply removing a moustache.
I'm not easily intimidated, but the thought of interviewing one of Palmy's favourite comedians had me up in the night doing more and more research. I needn't have worried as the voice that answers our phone call is that of a next-door neighbour, a guy you say hello to on the street, or strike up a conversation with at your kids' swimming lessons.
Born in Sydney in 1980, Franklin burst on to the comedy scene in Ten Network's Ronnie Johns Half Hour. His work in New Zealand is extensive, with starring roles in crime comedy Predicament, and numerous appearances on 7 Days, alongside one of Palmy's favourite sons, Jeremy Corbett. As well as performing his numerous Chopper shows to huge audiences, Franklin has also appeared at private corporate gigs and Christmas functions in Palmy, very much top of the bill, proving that playing a bogan can be big business.
Staying on Palmerston North, I attempt to prove my comedy genius by alluding to the fact that Palmy is so dull we even named our central park The Square, which basically means boring and conservative. Franklin is having none of it and sends me to the comedy naughty corner with a vitriolic defence of our Square, saying it's a great place to chill between rehearsals, and exclusively reveals his love of ducks, saying The Square is the perfect place to chuck some bread at the feathered Palmerstonians. You heard it here first.
The Chopper character is Franklin's bread and butter. I ask him if he has other characters, like Catherine Tate, or fellow Aussie Barry Humphries – will there ever be a Heath Franklin universe? He apparently had success doing Steve Irwin, but the impression was limited by Irwin's death.
There are other characters floating around in his head but he hasn't yet fleshed them out by buying the costume or fitting the moustache. The facial hair is a common theme in our chat, and Franklin recalls an occasion he rocked up to play a gig and wasn't allowed past security as they were waiting for Chopper. After pulling the moustache from his backpack he was eventually permitted to enter the theatre.
Franklin dodges Covid-19 in his new show The Silencer. He says it was written pre-Covid, and quite frankly he is sick to death of the virus. He says with months at home with nothing to do the world has already made all the Covid-related jokes online and it is time to move past it.
Even with a character as brash as Chopper there is always something important to take away from his shows, but Franklin insists that comedy comes first, and promises a hilarious show about living in the strange world of the internet and the characters who inhabit it.
I say we are okay to discuss politics, due to us not being friends but voices on the end of a phone. Franklin doesn't weigh in on our Prime Minister, instead stipulating that if one doesn't have a well-informed opinion, then one shouldn't give one. He's happy to answer my question on Scott Morrison's longevity, however, suggesting the embattled Australian leader has only lasted as long as he has because Australians have become sick of chucking out prime ministers every two weeks.
My call with Franklin is very much like a nice chat across the fence. In person, we may well have exchanged homegrown produce. The virtual man next door thanks me for attempting to ask some original questions, and I'm left wondering if, when watching him perform The Silencer, I will see a shred of the man I have spent 20 minutes interviewing. Anonymity is a fine thing indeed.
The Details
What: Heath Franklin's Chopper: The Silencer
When: Saturday, July 17, 7.30pm
Where: Regent on Broadway
Tickets: Ticketek