Buddhist monk Gen Kelsang Rabten says our inner critic lies to us.
Buddhist monk Gen Kelsang Rabten says our inner critic lies to us.
Gen Kelsang Rabten has a problem with his teeth - they attract broccoli and other green food.
The Buddhist monk often speaks to groups so is conscious of his teeth trap.
So before he gives a talk he looks in the mirror for anything green lurking in his mouth. Insteadof being critical if he finds some food, he thinks it is fantastic as he can now do something about it.
Rabten says it is important to develop a healthy relationship with our faults so we can attend to them.
He is the New Kadampa Tradition – International Kadampa Buddhist Union national spiritual director for New Zealand, Australia and South East Asia.
Rabten was in Palmerston North last week to give a public talk on silencing the inner critic.
That our inner narrative picks holes in what do is a dark secret of modern society. We suffer in silence with the voice picking away at us but it is a burden we don’t need to carry, he said.
Rabten shared the Buddhist approach to addressing the inner critic.
Buddha compared our mind to the forest which has many pathways. Some paths are well-trodden and take us to places we don’t want to go but these thoughts have their own momentum that propels us down that pathway.
We need a “meditation machete” to forge a new pathway that becomes as well-trodden as the old one.
Rabten shared the story of a monk who built a wall for the first time. It withstood the test of time but the monk focused on the one brick out of place.
We can do a great job but hone in on one little thing and that becomes the whole story.
After a great night out, we might lie in bed thinking about the one stupid thing we said.
The ability to observe our thoughts without losing ourselves in them means they don’t have power over us.
Rabten told the almost full Te Rangahau Room at Te Manawa that our thoughts and feelings are like clouds in the blue sky of our mind.
We can observe what is in the landscape of our mind but keep our distance so we are not sucked down the wormhole of negative thoughts.
Gen Kelsang Rabten shares ways to silence the inner critic at Te Manawa in Palmerston North.
A technique to silence the inner critic is to celebrate our good qualities. Stopping at a red light, feeding our pets, and thinking about our parents are all acts of kindness.
If we are not happy with ourselves and love ourselves, we are probably having problems accepting and loving others, Rabten said.
Observe our good actions and make a point of celebrating them. Log them as the inner critic is logging all the things we have done wrong. We need some ammunition for that battle.
Have a healthy relationship with our faults; we don’t need to wait until we are perfect to be happy with ourselves.
Take our pain and turn it into a bridge. We are not alone in experiencing what we do and we can use those experiences to fuel our compassion.
Rabten has studied and taught modern Kadampa Buddhism for more than 27 years.
The talk was organised by the Amitabha Buddhist Centre in Hokowhitu. On August 20, it is running a half-day learn to meditate course.
