Zeitgeist: Too Hot to Handle, Love Island ... Jessie Gurunathan’s affair with reality TV dating shows

The cast of Love Island. Photo / TVNZ

I have a confession to make, I love, love.

Not just any kind of love though, I’m talking trashy reality TV kind of L.O.V.E

I cringe at the sheer thought of how many hours of my life I’ve spent (lost) watching and obsessing over complete strangers and their romantic endeavours. Not only that, but I know it’s totally superficial and silly, and as a previous reality show contestant myself, I know a lot of it can be staged. Yet, I can’t get enough of this tacky telly genre, and I’m actually not alone. Dating shows have, and continue to be, a global pop culture phenomenon.

They’re the bread and butter of reality TV.

The formula is always roughly the same. There’s the romance, juicy drama, fake tans, awkward heavy petting and pashing, yes, I said pashing, because trust me, if you’ve ever watched an episode Love Island or Too Hot to Handle, you’ll get it. Did I also mention the DRAMA? It’s the secret sauce recipe to creating something that many of us crave, escapism.

The world is messy and noisy and honestly, it’s exhausting at the best of times.

We are constantly bombarded with doom and gloom headlines that focus on the worst aspects of humanity. In a time when technological breakthroughs continue to help us connect with the outside world around us, ironically, many participating in modern dating find it increasingly hard to find meaningful real world connections.

Despite all our best efforts over time, love is not a code that even the greatest minds have been able to fully crack. If love were rocket science and easily confined to a formula, then meeting and falling in love would be a piece of cake. But when you mix love with the complexities of human nature, it’s something that defies logic. Call me a hopeless romantic, or perhaps I’ve just watched one too many romcoms, but I like to think falling in love requires a bit of blind faith and magic. I think that’s a big reason why I find Reality TV dating shows so appealing. It’s pure, unadulterated, voyeuristic fun and pleasure.

When I’ve finished watching the nightly news and have heard about yet another storm approaching the north Island and banter about a financial crisis thrown in for good measure, I’m ready to switch my brain off for the evening. Enter season 10 of Love Island UK, I sink into the sofa and a wave of calm washes over me. It’s like that feeling you get after a long day of wearing a terribly uncomfortable underwire bra that you finally get to unfasten. My god, the relief, am I right, fellow bra wearers?! It feels good to be unencumbered by the weight of the day. It’s really just that simple.

I’m along for the ride, totally emotionally invested and rooting for the nice guy. There’s also the sense of camaraderie you get with other die-hard fans. We gather for live watch parties, chat online and dissect every episode with a fine tooth comb like we’re all suddenly experts on matters of the heart.

Don’t get it twisted, statistically speaking, I know the success rate of these couples staying together after the shows are all done and dusted is pretty bleak.

It’s one thing to fall in love amongst all the shiny bells and whistles of a reality show romance, but it’s another thing entirely to stay in love once contestants are thrown back into the real world.

I know these shows can be problematic at times, I know that they sometimes perpetuate certain stereotypes that are outdated, but it’s my vice, my guilty pleasure. Sometimes the pessimist in me just needs a good old-fashioned dose of optimism. What’s more optimistic than watching two people fall hopelessly in love? I’ll wait…