Woman whose husband had an affair says it was ‘the best thing that ever happened to us’

Matt and Charity Craig revealed how his affair helped them both to work on their marriage. Photo / Supplied

A woman whose husband had an affair has described his indiscretions as “the best thing that ever happened” to her marriage.

Charity and Matt Craig met when they were teenagers at church camp then married in 2004 at the age of 21 and 25.

Before discovering what was happening behind her back, Charity described her relationship as “happily married and good friends”.

But in 2012, Charity found text messages between her husband and another woman, describing the experience as “devastating”.

She then confronted Matt, who worked long hours as a music pastor and admitted the affair – blaming stress and time away from his family.

“I was working over 60 hours a week in a high-stress position,” Matt said.

“I spent more time at work than with my family. I was struggling between my family and my dreams of pursuing a musical career.”

In a bid to save his relationship Matt left his job and changed his number. But the couple, who moved out of their home, were starring down the barrel of divorce.

“I didn’t want to lose my family and I didn’t want to hurt the other woman,” Matt said.

During their time apart, Charity went to therapy and realised she was simultaneously battling co-dependency and insecurity.

“I didn’t know how unhappy I was and I did therapy,” Charity explained.

“Even though I didn’t seem to have anger issues, I used the silent treatment as a form of control and manipulation. I would get triggered and explode and rage. I have spent countless hours becoming a better version of myself.”

According to Charity, her husband also spent time working on himself.

“It’s not as cut and dry as it seemed – we had to weed through the mess. He actually did the work and when he wanted to,” said the mother-of-four.

“We moved forward together. Everyone has to do what’s right for them.”

A year later, the husband and wife reunited as a couple.

“We had a year of healing before we felt things could go back to normal. I went to therapy and read self-help books. I did everything possible to regain her trust. I would put my phone down on the table, straight up,” said Matt.

“It’s been amazing. It’s helped our family. I have a full understanding of her emotions and can be open with her. You have to be patient and you can’t get angry or impatient when she wants to talk about it again or breaks down emotionally.

“I asked her to get back together with me on Valentine’s Day in 2013.”

Charity now works as a coach who helps other married couples overcome betrayal and fidelity.

“We were two empty vessels trying to suck the life out of each other,” said Charity.

“We are each responsible for our own happiness.”

Despite the heartache, Charity says the affair made their marriage stronger.

“This affair turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to our marriage,” said Charity. “It shattered everything but we were in a toxic, unhealthy place.”