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Home / Lifestyle

Woman says she 'embarrassed' her partner while giving birth to their baby

NZ Herald
19 Jul, 2020 12:11 AM3 mins to read

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The man kept telling her to stop screaming during labour and hid his face in shame. Photo / 123rf

The man kept telling her to stop screaming during labour and hid his face in shame. Photo / 123rf

A woman has asked for relationship advice after her partner told her she had "embarrassed him" while she was giving birth to the couple's child.

The 20-year-old woman took to Reddit to explain the bizarre situation.

She said she gave birth to the couple's first child, a healthy baby boy, last week, after their one-year relationship.

"I had a natural birth and my boyfriend was there throughout the whole process," she wrote on Reddit.

"I screamed a lot and each time I did he whispered something like 'can you stop screaming, you're really embarrassing me'. I also threw up a few times and I saw him cover his face in shame," the new mum described.

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"When I held the midwife's hand for comfort he whispered 'let go of her, stop being so embarrassing'. He also said that my birthing position was embarrassing and called me a few vulgar names."

The woman says she is "really upset" about her partner's behaviour that day, especially as it all happened right when she needed his support the most.

She also accuses the man of gaslighting her: "When I try to talk to him about it he denies ever saying it and that I'm being silly," she said.

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The new mum asked Reddit for advice on how to address the situation.

Reddit users offered the woman words of support and told her to "keep an eye on him".

"I'm surprised your midwife didn't tell him to leave the room when he was acting like that. I'd hate to see how he copes with a crying baby. Keep your eye on him, seriously," one person wrote.

Others warned the woman the situation could become much worse if he does not address his issues now that he is a father: "It's a good warning. This is the type who can abuse a child if they don't stop crying or fussing on command," one Reddit user wrote.

"I'm so sorry. My child's father (who is no longer around much and I am separated from) also acted as though I was embarrassing him. I screamed and screamed," another person wrote.

"My contractions hurt so horribly like I was being stabbed over and over and he just looked at me so rudely and literally left the room a few times. All I can remember of this day is mostly him making me feel like I was doing something wrong. I deserved better. You deserve better. Please get out now."

In a recent update, the woman says she has tried to suggest couple's counselling but "to no avail".

The woman also said she has since decided to leave her partner.

She is staying with her mum until she can find a place for herself and her baby.

"I haven't said anything to him yet, I've been advised not to so I am still planning out how I am going to take the next step."

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