Woman charges boyfriend $70 fee for coming home late

Is charging your partner money for returning home late too extreme? Photo / Getty Images

A woman who charges her boyfriend $70 whenever he doesn't come home on time after a night out with friends has asked whether she is an "a**hole" for putting the fee in place.

The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about the rule, starting off by explaining that she used to go out drinking a lot after her mum died.

Her boyfriend didn't like this so she stopped going out and got sober. Now he has started staying out late most weekends and she's upset with the apparent "double standard".

She said she has tried to explain why she disagrees with his actions but he continues to go out, so she came up with a rule for late homecomings.

"If either one us aren't home (by) 4am, we have to give the other $50 ($73 NZD) and no one can be angry," she said.

"My reasoning is that he's either going to tire of paying the $50 and come home on time or afford me the same level of understanding for occasionally staying out until the bars close."

Many Reddit users said both her and her boyfriend were at fault.

"Your issue is trying to fine him to change who/what he is. His issue is ignoring your needs," one user said.

"You don't seem to be able to properly communicate your feelings to each other, or he just doesn't care how you feel," another wrote.

One said: "This is a really stupid and childish game both of you are playing."

Read the woman's full post below and decide whether you think the rule is a good idea.

AITA for charging my boyfriend $50 if he doesn't make it home by 5am?

"I feel like an a**hole. But, I don't know and have to know! So, hear me out.

"My boyfriend and I have been living together for two years. I'm naturally a homebody. But, when we first stated dating, I kind of had a drinking problem. After moving in together, I was still wrestling with alcoholism and stayed out a handful of times (about five times in a year) until 3AM. Frequently, I'd irresponsibly allow my phone to die while I continued drinking. Initially, I didn't understand how problematic it was because I wasn't cheating and I was literally half a block away from our apartment and in the same bar that I went to every each time. Every time, my boyfriend expressed that he hated this. He hated the staying out late and he hated the dead phone. He told me it was unacceptable. Eventually, it seemed like such a big deal to my boyfriend that I just sucked it up, stopped staying out late, and stopped drinking.

"Fast forward now, it's over a year since I last stayed out or really drank. My boyfriend got a new set of friends and now he stays out mostly every weekend until 3-5am. I don't ask who's he's with or what he's doing before he leaves. I don't bother him while he's out. I want him to have his space because humans deserve that. But, it still bothers me that he's late only because of the double standard that he's set in our relationship. He says that he deserves the benefit of the doubt because "he'll respond to a call or text at any time". But, as I stated previously, I almost never call while he's out unless it's an emergency because we live together.

"At first, it pissed me off. Then, I thought I should just calmly explain to him why I disagree with his actions. But, after almost a year, he still does it. He tells me he'll be home by a certain time and doesn't make it. When I him out on how he treats me for coming home late, he back pedals. I'm tired of wasting my breath. So, tonight when he left at midnight, I made a proposition. If either one us aren't home 4am, we have to give the other $50 and no one can be angry.

"My reasoning is that he's either going to tire of paying the $50 and come home on time or afford me the same level of understanding for occasionally staying out until the bars close.

"Am I the a**hole? Is he? Are we both a**holes?"