With these friends, I thee wed ...

Gary Smith and his wife Helen Lane-Smith invited their friends on their honeymoon. Photo / Supplied

Traditionally as integral to the wedding experience as the white dress, the cake and the first dance, the honeymoon as we know it is becoming increasingly rare.

Once the first real chance for newlyweds to have some time to themselves, modern-day couples are shunning a romantic break for two and instead opting for a fun-filled holiday with a few - or a few dozen - select mates.

The new phenomenon has been dubbed the "mateymoon".

"People want their friends around," says Gordon Bayne, marketing manager at Mondo Travel, a company that specialises in weddings and honeymoons. "Once upon a time people were quite insular, but now, most people's friends become their family."

And the fast pace of modern life means that for many people, a quiet holiday in the sun for two is just plain boring, says Bayne.

Guests from New Zealand and the UK travelled to the Canada wedding of Gary Smith and Helen Lane-Smith, so the couple decided to follow their traditional Vancouver wedding with a week-long mateymoon on an island off the coast.

"We had so many guests coming from all over the place and we wanted to spend some time with them," says Lane-Smith, a Canadian who met her Kiwi husband in London. "So we rented a big house on Gabriola Island and had family for the first few days, then friends for the rest of the week," says the 35-year-old, who lives in Nelson.

"It worked out great, we were really pleased with how it went. I would highly recommend it."

Lane-Smith says she and her husband travelled together a lot when they lived in London, so a honeymoon with just the two of them wasn't essential. "We just really wanted to hang out with our friends in a stress-free environment," she says. The couple did have a traditional honeymoon a few years later when they went to South Africa. But Lane-Smith agrees mateymoons are becoming more common. "I do think people are doing it more often, especially as people have friends and family in different countries."

Lesley Walker, editor of Bride & Groom magazine, says the "weddingmoon" - a relative of the mateymoon - is becoming more popular. As the name suggests, a weddingmoon is a wedding and honeymoon combined .

"Usually they have it overseas and have friends and family join them," says Walker.

But even though it seems like anything goes when it comes to honeymoons these days, Walker thinks they are far from becoming obsolete.

"Most weddings take a lot of planning. There's a lot of work involved so the couple needs a break afterwards."

- HERALD ON SUNDAY