Buckingham Palace's 775 rooms are hiding some diabolic secrets royals can't stand. Photo / Supplied
Buckingham Palace's 775 rooms are hiding some diabolic secrets royals can't stand. Photo / Supplied
Rats.
Rats and royals do not often cross paths in news stories, but there is a tangerine-hued reality star in the White House and Prince Harry, aka 'Sir Chug-A-Lot', now guzzles green juice instead of Guinness.
The world is a strange place, which is why we are goingto talk about royals and rats, reports news.com.au.
Because rodents are just one of the significant problems that Buckingham Palace is facing and one of the reasons the royal family, Prince Charles especially, really dislikes "the Big House".
While the enormous 775-room place is famous for being stuffed with clunky gilt furniture, a billion-dollar art collection and Princess Margaret's hidden cache of half-empty gin bottles, it would seem members of the Windsor clan are less than enthusiastic about the grand old girl.
The place supposedly has a rat and mouse problem to the extent courtiers put out a press release about the situation in 2001: "The ratio of mice to men is very low, and there's no question of the Queen having to flee to Windsor".
When then-president Barack Obama and wife Michelle stayed in one of Liz's 52-bedrooms in 2011 during a London visit, a butler was forced to tell the leader of the free world there was a mouse in his room and they were trying to catch it.
Looks grand no? Turns out it's actually a gold-plated dump. Photo / Getty Images
Then there was the time the crumbling building nearly killed Princess Anne, or at least, hurt her badly.
A few years ago, a massive chunk of masonry fell off the exterior, narrowly missing the Princess Royal.
Such is the state of the roof, liveried servants are forced to put out buckets to catch the drips and the ancient wiring and electrical system is also considered a fire risk. (Though that danger might give the next state dinner a frisson of excitement beyond whether Princess Beatrice's tiara will fall into the amuse-bouche.)
The bottom line: It is a priceless building that is also a bit of a dump.
Currently, the Queen and Phillip are doing a bit of a reno on the joint that is costing British taxpayers about AU$690 million ($715 million).
To sort all of this out, the Windsors (or more likely an army of lowly-paid staff) will move 10,000 artworks out of the east wing (where the famous waving balcony is) so the tradies can move in.
Given all of this, it is perhaps no wonder Charles doesn't want to pack up his pocket square collection and Camilla's favourite highball glasses to move into the dingy place.
The London Times has reported the Prince of Wales "doesn't see (Buckingham Palace) as a viable future home or a house that's fit for purpose in the modern world. He feels its upkeep, both from a cost and environmental perspective, is not sustainable."
All of which has got me thinking. A large, empty decrepit building in need of some very energetic and plucky DIY-ers to get stuck in? I wonder if The Block producers have ever considered an exciting overseas location for the next series?
