It's official: Furtive love birds Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are to be wed!
Of course, the question now on everybody's lips is: where does this leave us, the plucky underdog of the Commonwealth, New Zealand?
Who will represent our tiny, triflingcountry at the wedding to end all weddings?
With an exciting precedent set by John and Bronagh Key's attendance at William and Kate's 2011 wedding, we can but hope that a similar invitation will be extended to Jacinda Ardern and Clarke Gayford, which thanks to my overidentification complex is basically the same as me going and WE WOULD LOVE TO COME THANK YOU.
She famously expressed her disdain for 'Royals', but has Markle's unlikely leap from commoner to commonwealth changed her tune?
Matilda Rice and Art Green: With the prince and princess of Paleo gearing up for New Zealand's own Royal wedding, what better way to get inspiration?
Max Key: New Zealand's own former enfant terrible first son and much-admired DJ would no doubt love to go and see his UK counterpart finally settle down!
KJ Apa: A hot young star and fellow inexplicable red-head, KJ can borrow Jughead's stupid little crown hat for the occasion.
That guy who played William in the much-loved TV movie about William and Kate's relationship William and Kate - surely a favourite Friday night flick for all the royal family, it would surely be rude of Harry not to invite Nico Evers-Swindell, the Kiwi who brought his brother to life.
They don't call Winston the kingmaker for nothing.
Winston Peters:
Hey, they don't call him the Kingmaker for nothing.
With the nuptials set to take place in the 2018 (British) spring, we can but wait and see who among us might get to rub shoulders with OBAMA (!). In the meantime, keep checking your letterboxes fellow patriots.
