A promising way to make sense of how these two human values can diverge is to think of happiness in terms of pleasant experiences and of meaningfulness as what merits great esteem or admiration.
The world's great religions tend to suggest ways in which happiness and meaning can go together. Fulfilling their God's purpose and then entering Heaven is one (monotheism).
Realising one's unity with everything else in the world and thereby overcoming a sense of isolation is another (Hinduism). These strategies crucially depend on the existence of a spiritual realm that includes a soul.
However, even if we might have faith in a spiritual reality, few of us think we have strong evidence of it. If we in fact lack souls, or if we otherwise want to focus on this-worldly matters, how should we live when it appears that happiness and meaning are competing values?
Nursing, then dancing
When confronted with the prospect of happiness and meaningfulness taking us on different paths in an earthly life, some lighthearted folks ("hedonists") would recommend going for happiness, doing whatever they can to maximise pleasure in the long run, while other, heavier souls ("stoics") would maintain that happiness is overrated and that meaning is what counts.
My perspective is different. I think that the best sort of life, or at least a really good one, would include both happiness and meaningfulness. Although one sometimes has to choose between these two values, one ought to strive for a life in which there is plenty of both.
How to do that? Sometimes the best one can do is to alternate pursuit of them. Nurses who confront intense suffering and death daily might have no choice but to put in their "meaning time", and then afterwards go dancing at a nightclub or play on their iPad over a glass of wine.
Another strategy, however, would be to seek out a life in which there were both happiness and meaning at the same time, so that one did not have to give up on one to have the other.
That probably should not mean taking a "happy pill" so that one can withstand the monotony of an assembly line.
Instead, one could engage in activities that both deserve reactions of esteem and admiration and that, by their nature, tend to produce pleasant experiences.
Flower garden
The examples I have in mind are ones in which there is happiness with labour and meaningfulness without sacrifice. The instances of happiness I have mentioned so far have been passive, in which a person simply "takes in" pleasurable feelings, while the cases of meaningfulness have been ones in which a person gives up much for the sake of others.
However, there are more active forms of happiness and less self-sacrificial kinds of meaning. And when these come together, those who have them often consider them to be "peak" or "ideal" ways of being.
Think of working hard to cultivate a flower garden for one's family. Or of writing poetry that is well received. Or making an intellectual discovery that influences a field. Or creating a new device that helps improve people's lives. Or taking pride in having overcome a neurosis. Or caring for a pet.
Or think of learning a new instrument to the point of being able to play a beautiful song. Or having conversations with one's children about how they see the world and how they might do so in more revealing, productive ways. Or having sex with a beloved.
I am not suggesting that nurses should quit, or that one should not eat chocolate icecream.
But if you're like me in wanting as much happiness and meaning in your life as you can get, you'll spend a good amount of time living in the sweet spot where they meet.
-The Conversation
