Chief Lifestyle & Entertainment Reporter·NZ Herald·
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Jenni Mortimer, Chief Lifestyle & Entertainment Reporter for the New Zealand Herald, is passionate about telling stories and providing a place to escape for kiwis in amongst the hard news.
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The look of a man who just had ChatGPT tell him he's absolutley rocking that fedora. Photo / Getty Images
The look of a man who just had ChatGPT tell him he's absolutley rocking that fedora. Photo / Getty Images
Health New Zealand staff are in hot water after being caught using ChatGPT and other free AI tools to write their clinical notes.
While most of us would assume un-registered artificial intelligence and our private health information aren’t a good mix – HNZ staff could be facing disciplinary action– it does beg the question: in 2026, when should we use AI and when should we absolutely not?
Should we use it to summarise contracts we never read, but always sign?
Is it safe to use it to find out what foods might kill you, or see you transcend space and time?
Could you use this dead-eyed tech to help you win back a scorned ex?
Below, we round up the (tongue-in-cheek) dos and don’ts of AI use.
Do: Use it to quit your bad job. Not only will AI craft you a professional and well-formed letter of resignation, but it also requires minimal investment. If the robots are going to steal our jobs, let’s at least use them to help us exit the toxic ones.
Don’t: Ask “is this mushroom safe to eat?” Unless you are a keen forager with a penchant for sudden death, or, at the very least, a hankering for a ride on a unicorn, maybe get your “is this safe to eat?” answer from the pros when it comes to random wild fungi.
While delicious, it's often unwise to risk your life on an AI-approved mushroom. Photo / File
Do: Use it to help your children with their homework. If you are stuck trying to explain fractions to your 7-year-old or feeling persecuted by Pythagoras, AI can help. A friendly bot can tell you the solution by giving you the answer and the method. Now you can explain the problem to your kids, but not have to solve it yourself. Who’s not living up to their potential now, Mrs Smith?
Don’t: Use it to learn to spell. A man recently went viral for asking ChatGPT how many r’s there were in the word “strawberry”. The AI claimed there were only two and, while it gaslit harder than a Dixie Chicks single, it was still sadly wrong.
Do: Use it for your fitness journey. Starting a sport or fitness quest and want a companion who will cheer you on so loudly you’ll be Googling entry requirements for the 2028 Olympics? AI has your back. Enter practically any stat about your training, and it will tell you that you are well on your way to becoming an elite athlete.
Don’t: Have it write your grandmother’s obituary. Grandma didn’t give this earth 88 of her best years so you could use AI to give her a “fitting farewell”. AI is incapable of articulating the sweet smell of her baking, the decibels the television reached when she was watching Coronation Street, or the crush she had on Mike McRoberts.
Mike McRoberts. AI won't understand. Photo / Jason Oxenham
Do: Summarise boring documents. Ever get a company email with an attachment so large and painful that you set an out-of-office while you read it? Me? Never. Simply have AI summarise it for you and tell you actions you might need to take while you head off for a well-deserved break.
Don’t:Have it make your holiday itinerary. Want to visit places that have been closed for three years, stay in a hotel that’s actually for pets, and travel along roads only frequented by local cartels? Book a ChatGPT holiday today.
Do: Find out what your future children will look like. Got a crush, or a real fresh fling? Give your photo and their photo to your favourite AI assistant, and it’ll spit out a perfectly airbrushed version of your future child together. Spice up your day by sending it to them. If they can’t handle you at your “this is our child”, they don’t deserve you at your “sure, I’d love to watch the Warriors”.
Don’t: Try to win back an ex. Nothing says heartfelt like a series of em dashes and a declaration of love made by a robot, almost as incapable of human emotions as your ex.
Do: Get fashion advice. Need sound advice on a new fedora you’re thinking about trying out? Or if you should wear white to your son’s wedding – after all, you were his first love. AI is here to help. Not only will it reaffirm your bold fashion move, but it’ll agree with every accessory you add. Who knew shutter shades were back?
Don’t: Ask it to be your legal counsel. Whether you are facing a barrage of unpaid parking fines or are trying to get custody of your children (who looked nothing like ChatGPT said they would), unless you want to serve 18 years in prison, it’s best to leave legal advice to human experts with qualifications and student loans to boot.
