What happens to your body when you’re not having sex regularly, according to sex therapists

What happens to your body when you don't have sex for weeks or months at a time? Photo / 123rf

This article was one of Herald Lifestyle’s best-read stories of 2024.

We all know having sex regularly is good for our overall health and wellbeing, but it’s not uncommon to go without it for weeks or even months at a time - so how does it really affect your body?

For many people, going without sex for a while may feel frustrating and increase stress levels. However, sex and relationships expert Christine Rafe says that while it may feel like a major change, that’s not necessarily the case, scientifically speaking.

Speaking to Body+Soul, Rafe says, “While there are recognised physical, emotional and psychological benefits to engaging in solo or partnered sexual activity - including outercourse or non-penetrative sex - this does not mean that there are negative consequences associated with not being sexually active.”

Going without sex for a while is similar to not exercising for a period of time, experts reveal. Photo / 123rf

She compared the physical effects of not having sexual intercourse for a while to going without exercising for a period of time.

“People who haven’t had sex, or who stop having sex for prolonged periods may experience deconditioning to sexual activities and find that they have muscle tightness or soreness, difficulties in ejaculatory control and a loss of confidence in sexual activity,” Rafe says, adding that these things do not constitute “long-term biological changes”.

Short-term or long-term abstinence is not necessarily bad for you - as Rafe explains, “there is no substantive research or evidence concluding that there are negative health impacts for someone who chooses to not have sex, or to stop having sex.”

It comes after other experts warned that abstaining for long periods of time could have physical or psychological effects.

Sex and relationships expert Dr Tara Suwinyattichaiporn told the Daily Mail UK that sexually inactive men could be affected by penile atrophy, a very rare condition where the penile tissue becomes less flexible and can shrink by up to 2cm. Scientists differ on how long this condition can take to come into effect.

However, a 2016 study found that men who ejaculate around 21 times each month have a lower risk of getting prostate cancer than those who ejaculate less than seven times a month. For women, abstaining from sex for months can cause the vagina to atrophy and cause discomfort or pain during sex in the future.

Going without sex for a month or more could lead both men and women to feel stress, frustration, anxiety and even anger issues, she said, as having sex triggers positive hormones such as dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin.

Yoga or meditation can help you de-stress and increase your capacity for enjoying sex. Photo / 123rf

We all need affection and connection with others in our lives, a lack of which could affect our mental health, she explained.

Sex therapist Sari Cooper told the Daily Mail UK that “dry spells” are normal, but if you’re in a relationship and go without sex for too long, it can cause serious issues.

“Sometimes one partner may ask to open up the relationship so they can get their needs met in an ethical manner, and other partners may just have an outside sexual infidelity to meet the needs,” Cooper explained.

She suggested that couples who aren’t having regular sex should assess their individual stress levels, as “stressed-out people don’t have the capacity to enjoy sex” and then try planning date nights, meditation or yoga to help reduce stress.

Cooper said couples struggling in this area should seek professional help or advice from a certified sex therapist.

This article was originally published on May 27, 2024.