Wendyl Nissen: Would I stick around if it was me?

As the Craig saga plays out, our thoughts must be with Helen, writes Wendyl Nissen. Photo / Michael Craig

None of us knows whether we would stand by our man until it happens to us.

As Colin Craig paraded his wife Helen in front of the media as evidence he is a very nice man, despite allegations of inappropriate behaviour and rumours of harassment, many women would have watched her strained performance and felt several things.

Pity for the position a man who supposedly loves her has put her in. Admiration for the strength it took her to do it and deep sadness that she is married to Craig and will continue to be.

And then they would have asked themselves the question. Would I stick around if that happened to me?

What we don't know about women in Helen's shoes is what has gone on before.

Let's be realistic. If you're married to a politician you don't see a lot of him. It's all meetings and phone calls, flights to catch, endless nights away, handshakes and beers, time massaging not only his ego but those of his people and party.

You never see him and when you do his head is in the cloud of self-love.

I wouldn't be surprised if Helen's appearance in front of the TV cameras was the most time she has spent with Craig in a very long time.

Both Craig and Rachel MacGregor deny any sexual relationship. But for other wives, unlike here, where there have been affairs - Len Brown's wife Shan Inglis, Hillary Clinton - it is my guess that by the time we see the humiliation and steely-eyed determination of women who stand by their man, that he played around is nothing new. There were hotel receipts, stray perfume on collars, text messages.

In those cases it may not be the one-off mistake we are led to believe should be forgiven. And we all know that once is a mistake, twice is a decision and the third time, well, he's a real dick.

For some women living with a real dick is worth it. Financial stability, nice house or houses, great holidays and, importantly for many women, kids who continue to have two parents in one home.

For others a dignified exit with a slap of revenge in the divorce settlement is the way to go. She reasons the kids are better off without a dickhead as a role model.

But for those who must endure their personal lives being thrust into the media spotlight it must be a cruel reminder of political life.

As the Craig saga plays out and his party members scatter to the four winds before a similar spotlight is shone on them, our thoughts must be with Helen.

Because she, unlike any of us, is still married to Craig - who opposes gay marriage, thinks humans are not responsible for climate change, smacks his children and, worst of all goes to work in a castle every day.