If you're wondering if this sounds like mumbo jumbo, I get it – but there's method behind it.
Cupping is a traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) therapy used to treat "stagnation" within the body, which can be caused by all kinds of muscle tension and strain. Cupping therapy helps relieve tension, strain and stagnation by stimulating blood circulation and bringing "old blood" to the surface, and this old blood apparently contains toxins. After drawing the toxins out, the cups encourage fresh blood and nutrients to the area to promote healing.
And it does feel as cooked as it sounds. Sort of like a baby Dementor vacuuming out your soul through the skin of your back. Not unpleasant exactly, but definitely odd.
"After a treatment, the colour of the cupping marks shows the degree of stagnation," Parsons explains.
"Dark or purple marks indicate deep or long-term stagnation, and more severe injuries. Lighter colour marks indicate milder levels of stagnation."
As you can see, my cup marks were light (compared to the crazy purple ones on Google images) but also I'd been one week sober when I had my treatment done, so who knows how black my cup marks would have been the night after my 30th birthday party when I didn't go to bed until 6am?
Post-cupping, you're supposed to have instant relief from your formerly sore muscles and stiff joints, and I did. I had woken up with a headache and sore neck that morning from a snore guard I'm testing (more on that in a later column), but after my cupping session my neck felt lighter and my headache had subsided.
"After cupping therapy, it is very common to leave the clinic with instant improvements in muscle tension and pain – clients frequently comment on how their tight muscles have relaxed and stiff joints feel so much easier," says Parsons.
I did feel very relaxed, which may also be attributed to the hot oil massage Stephen gave me afterwards. It smelt like Tiger Balm so I felt like a true athlete. Go get your cup on, it's weird but great.