'We knew the time was coming' - Death of Stephen Wealthall, the doctor who taught us not to fear the end

Stephen Wealthall urged Kiwis to focus on the good things in life. Photo / Dean Purcell

A former paediatrician and medical educator who has spoken on a "no-fear approach" to death has died.

Stephen Wealthall, who was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in late 2013, died on Wednesday.

Some months after his diagnosis, the then 69-year-old had written a column in the Herald about focusing on the "good things in life" when the end was near.

READ HIS MOVING COLUMN HERE

"Why rage against dying? After all, it happens to us all and is part of life, just like birth and the seven ages we pass through. Naturally we all want to put it off, as I do now, but is it really something to rage at, or ignore and only talk about behind people's backs in hushed tones."

The former doctor, who was born in Yorkshire, was no stranger to death, having dealt with it with the both the elderly and the very young, throughout his career.

He reflected on an era, before "co-ordinated terminal care" when people were able to face death with dignity, acceptance and an ability to talk and even joke about it.

Mr Wealthall said it was this ability to focus on the good things, not on the suffering or lost opportunities, that was needed when approaching death.

"Remember the first time you netted a tadpole, caught a fish or patted a puppy. Bring back the first time you went out for a meal with a lover...What was the best time with family or children."

He said it was natural to be sad, to have some regret or be depressed at the thought of death, but what can be had are "frank conversations" about death to bring it into the norm.

A family notice in today's NZ Herald expressed the family's sadness at the loss of their "dearly loved husband and best friend of Faye, cherished Father of Rosamund and Elinor, loved Stepfather of Paul and Rachel, and caring Granddad of Imogen and Madeleine. Very special Gaia to Zoe".

"We knew the time was coming, when we must say goodbye, Our hearts are filled with sadness, but memories never die. Love forever and a day."

A family spokesperson told the Herald they would not be commenting further on their loss.

"While he was quite public...we are a little bit more private."

However she did say that Mr Wealthall passed peacefully on Wednesday evening at home.

"He was happy."