Video: Tea With Mussolini

Herald Rating: * * *

Running time: 117 mins

In stores: Now

Review: Ewan McDonald

Based on the autobiography of Italian film director Franco Zeffirelli, this is the story of Luca, illegitimate son of a Florence clothing manufacturer. Luca's mother dies and an old expatriate Brit, Mary (Joan Plowright), is hired to turn him into an English gentleman.

But this is the 30s. As Mussolini's regime takes power, Mary and her eccentric women friends gather in Doney's Tea Room to gossip and at the Galleria Uffizi to paint. She takes the boy to live with her and the circle.

Which is the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts' old girls' hockey team: apart from Plowright, there's Maggie Smith as Lady Hester, widow of the former ambassador, Judi Dench as the artistic Arabella and other theatrical dames in supporting positions...er, roles. From across the Atlantic are Georgie (Lily Tomlin), a lesbian archaeologist, and Elsa Morgenthal (Cher), an American art collector. She will unwisely fall for her chauffeur, who will sell her fake art, steal her money and betray her to the Fascists.

As World War breaks, Lady Hester goes to Rome for tea with Il Duce, who assures her that she and her friends have nothing to worry about. Soon his Brown Shirts are shipping the ladies off to custody in the suitably picturesque and art-laden village of San Gimignano. Luca is also shipped out of the country for safekeeping but conveniently returns to Tuscany in time to play a major part in the movie's climax.

And that's an ending that will please the thousands who visit San Gimi every year. Oh, I know I'm sounding cynical here: I wanted to enjoy this because my wife and I have spent happy times in the town and in the darling old Gilli caffe which passes for Doney's. But it's just an excuse for plummy actresses to go over the top; for Cher to show she does wear clothes sometimes; and for Zeffirelli to romanticise his part in the war. Thankfully, he survived it to make better movies than this.