Sex.Life podcast host Morgan Penn has some steamy suggestions for singles and couples this Valentine's Day. Photo / Getty Images
Sex.Life podcast host Morgan Penn has some steamy suggestions for singles and couples this Valentine's Day. Photo / Getty Images
Warning: This story contains sexual references
Forget about a dinner reservation this Valentine’s Day, love birds - there’s so much more you can do on the most romantic day of the year.
Whether you’re a brand new couple navigating your way through the heart-shaped chocolates and overwhelmingly large flower bouquets,or a long-term couple grabbing the icecream and snuggling on the couch for another adorable Valentine’s Day, sometimes you want to spice things up - and today is the perfect day to do it.
Somatic sexologist andSex.Life podcast host Morgan Penn has revealed to the Herald her top five tips for making sure your love-filled day is extra memorable.
Here are five tips to spice up your sex life this Valentine’s Day:
When it comes to bedroom behaviours, Penn confesses lovers who talk about sex, have better sex. “If this isn’t something that is normalised in your relationship then yes, broaching this subject can be hard but once you’ve done it, it gets easier and easier. Be brave.”
Somatic sexologist and Sex.Life podcast host Morgan Penn has some spicy Valentine's Day advice.
Penn says once you’ve found this safe place with your partner, “you can share desires and curiosities” which will in turn open up conversations and “potential new pathways to pleasure”.
Here are a couple of questions to help guide the conversation - make sure you answer honestly.
What makes you really excited about sex? What makes you really excited about sex with me?
What bad sexual habits have we developed or could develop in our relationship which we need to change?
Get messy
Whether you’re having dinner somewhere fancy, or simply enjoying a little picnic at home, Penn suggests dessert should be saved for the bedroom, “Feed your partner. Lick food off them. This is really primal and may ignite a different part of the brain than you are used to having online in intimate moments.”
As for those who are making the most of a solo Valentine’s Day, you can get involved by taking things to the shower: “Pick out a juicy piece of fruit and take it into the shower and seductively eat it. Let the juice drip all over your body,” Penn suggests.
If getting messy isn’t a journey you’d like to take, Penn says you can skip the fruit entirely: “You can also use that shower time as part of your ritual of cleansing and preparing the body for a pleasurable time. Preparing the temple for worship, so to speak.”
Dress-up
Track pants and hoodies are slowly easing their way out of our everyday lives post pandemic but they are still present. Penn says that while they definitely have a place in our wardrobes, sometimes it’s nice to make a real effort for yourself and also your partner.
“In the early days of dating, we make such an effort to impress and feel good. Perfume, hair looking good and if we’re thinking about getting down and dirty - underwear.”
She says that while women generally have more luxurious options, there can be barriers to lingerie, including budget and the narrative sets are only for “skinny sexually liberated women”
Penn says, “I think lingerie is a beautiful tool to feel sexy just for you and if that has a ripple effect on a partner then it’s a bonus. If this feels like a foreign concept to you, I invite you to put something on that feels sexy and do something mundane. Do the dishes, read a book, dance. See how you feel in it and see if a natural sexy energy comes in.”
Penn explains that when it comes to pleasure, massages can be of huge benefit to couples, especially if you’re asking questions throughout to find out what feels good for your partner: “If you’re giving a massage, but you are doing it with research, you’re actually finding out where the erogenous zones are and finding what bits feel really good,” she says.
“You can start anywhere but I always think starting at the neck is a good place, which is a big erogenous zone and you can work your way down from there. Then you ask detailed questions like, would you like more? less? or the same pressure? What about the speed? Do you want faster, slower, the same? You adjust accordingly, to figure out exactly what they like.”
Penn says it’s best to end on the money question: “What could make this better?”
One thing that can contribute to a spicy Valentine’s evening is bringing a different energy into the bedroom. Penn says if you’re someone who is always quite dominant, try taking the back seat, “a funk we can fall into is doing the same thing all the time or being the person who always leads or even worse you both become passive and it just turns into a bit of a non-event,” she says adding, “polarity is really important in keeping things spicy.”
Penn continues to say that while it might be out of your comfort zone, it’s not worth being too serious about. “Be brave and give it a go, even if it ends in fits of laughter this is a good thing! And a fun energy to play with (we get too serious about sex).”
