Urzila Carlson: Why we don't know how lucky we are to live in NZ

Urzila Carlson. Photo / Jason Oxenham

I moved to New Zealand in 2006. Quite a few bad things had happened to me in South Africa: a smash and grab, an armed robbery at my work, an attempted home invasion in the middle of the night. I went: "I can't live here. I need to leave." I saw an ad in the paper that said: "Do you want to emigrate? Why not New Zealand?"

Both my then partner and I were on the skilled shortage list. And three months after I saw the ad, I was on a plane. I'd never been here. I'd never met anyone who'd been here. But sometimes you have that gut feeling something will be all right.

We got jobs immediately - mine was as a graphic designer at an ad agency - and I had residency within six months of moving.

In one sense it was easy, but in another it was awful. There was no soft landing. We didn't know anyone. The exchange rate nearly killed us. So financially it was very tough. I wasn't sure if we would get residency and didn't want to commit to buying any furniture until then. That was because we had sold everything in South Africa but wouldn't have been able to afford to send anything back if New Zealand didn't work out. We started turning on each other. It cost us our relationship.

It was tough, but it was the best thing to do. Even in the middle of it, when we were broke and cold and it was extremely hard, I knew it was right.

My partner had a 6-year-old son and he immediately clicked in like he was born here.
I always say if we moved over just for the kids and the good coffee, that was enough.

I grew up with South Africa in a state of civil unrest the whole time. There was always violence and I was always aware of it.

In New Zealand, I noticed so many small things, like people walking the street. You don't see that in South Africa - it's not safe, so we drive everywhere. People don't walk their dogs, because they have them for protection. If you have a dog, you want it to be able to rip someone's arm off. People don't talk to each other in parks.

I left everyone close to me behind in South Africa. The first couple of years were awful because I was so alone. The only one not there was a sister in the UK. Now my mum and a sister and my brother all live in New Zealand.

I was pretty much blown away by everything here. Even the amount of bread in New Zealand. I'm still blown away by the food options.

In New Zealand people talk about the nanny state and the government telling you what to do, but at least they do stuff.

Also, there is the freedom to speak your mind. People aren't shy to say what they think about the government or any public figure. When things come up like Winston Peters taking too long to decide about the government, I say you need to get out of New Zealand for a while.

Urzila Carlson is a regular panellist on TV3's 7 Days, Fridays, 9pm.