Twenty hilarious tweets about parenting that every dad can relate to

NZ Herald Planning Editor and Herald on Sunday columnist·NZ Herald·

2 Sep, 2017 03:13 AM3 mins to read

Deadpool star Ryan Reynolds often tweets about his experiences as a father. Photo / Getty Images

It's Father's Day tomorrow and all dads deserve to have a good laugh about the joys of parenting.

We've compiled a list of 20 times that dads hilariously nailed parenting on Twitter.

Let's get married and have kids so instead of watching Game of Thrones you can tuck them in for the 5th time while I fold laundry.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 28, 2017

My kids have two volume settings:
1) Incoherent mumbling
2) Instantly deafening
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) August 30, 2017

I would say that the hardest thing about being a parent is these goddamned kids
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) April 28, 2014

If you'd like to know what parenting is like in 2015, this toy boat is $70. That's pretty much it. pic.twitter.com/5Vhgy4fJjA
— Adam Scott (@mradamscott) July 5, 2015

Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old's lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) April 15, 2013

5-year-old: I'm running away!

Me: *looks at the laundry* Take me with you.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 27, 2017

There should be a children's song "If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your Dad sleep."
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) May 9, 2012

SO TIRED of clapping happily when a kid takes more than 1 try to blow out birthday candles. His wish is screwed, why are we ignoring this
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) September 3, 2014

5-year-old: Why can’t we go swimming today?

Me: You have school, it’s cold, and the pool is closed.

5: But other than that?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 31, 2017

10.

Me: What do you want for breakfast?
4yo: Toast
Me: *makes it, gives it to him
4yo: I didn't want it toasted!
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 28, 2014

11.

Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 22, 2016

12.

On our 6am walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it's in heaven, visiting daddy's freedom.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 16, 2016

13.

7yo: I wanna wear my hat today
Me: Ok, but I'm not going to carry it all day

Narrator: But carry it all day he did
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) March 3, 2017

14.

My daughter loves being buried up to her neck in sand at the beach. Her little face lights up when I come back to get her the next day.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 16, 2017

15.

#Parenting Tip: If your child is crying, hold it close & whisper “You don’t have a clue what horrors this world holds.”
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) April 6, 2013

16.

Welcome to parenthood.
You'll now be sleeping on a 2 inch slice of bed next to the edge for the next 10 years.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) February 23, 2017

17.

My kids woke me up on Father's Day with breakfast in bed.

Just kidding.

My 1-year-old hit me in the head with a maraca.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 18, 2017

18.