7.30PM, TV3
HONEY, WE'RE KILLING THE KIDS
Seven-year-old Garrett is man of the Davidson house in Christchurch, with free-rein to do as he pleases, including eating whatever he wants. Louise Schofield has to challenge Monique to take charge and save Garrett from himself.
8.30PM, TV ONE
THAT'LL TEACH 'EM
The
boys struggle to meet standards when the teachers crack down on bed-making, tidiness and appearance. With no calculators to help in maths class, the students are stumped.
9.30PM, TV3
OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE
The West family raise a ghost when Grandpa's safe-cracking attempts nearly bring down the house. Meanwhile, Loretta is in for a shock when she learns the awful truth about a very important question.
9.30PM, PRIME
THE L-WORD
It's heartache all around this week. Tim is dealt a harsh blow when he catches Jenny with Marina in a compromising position. Bette announces Tina's pregnancy to her father but is hurt by his response. Dana upsets Lara by taking a male partner to her sponsorship dinner.
MOVIES
[rated out of 5]
8.30PM, C4
THE FILTH AND THE FURY
Herald rating: * * * *
Documentary about the rise of the Sex Pistols in 1970s England, tracing their short but brilliant career as leaders of the punk rock movement. Director Julien Temple, who also made The Great Rock and Roll Swindle, allows the four original band members - Johnny Rotten, Steve Jones, Paul Cook and Glen Matlock - to finally tell their
own stories. Includes concert footage and an interview with Sid Vicious. (2000)
8.30PM, SKY MOVIES 2
SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE
Herald rating: * * * *
Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Affleck and Geoffrey Rush star in this comedy about William Shakespeare (Joseph Fiennes), the rising star of the London theatre scene, who has a serious case of writer's block. His muse appears in the shape of Lady Viola (Paltrow), who is so keen on his work that she auditions in disguise, dressed as a boy. Mistaken identity and gender confusion are devices Shakespeare often used in his comedies. Colin Firth, Rupert Everett, and Dame Judi Dench also star. (1998)
9.55PM, SKY MOVIES 1
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN
Herald rating: * * * *
Orlando Bloom grows a beard and stars as Balian, a French blacksmith who inherits land and an army in the Middle East, in this Middle Ages epic from Ridley Scott. Better than other recent sword and sandal films like Troy, Alexander and King Arthur. (2005)