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Home / Lifestyle

TikToker shares story of her stepdad's abuse

NZ Herald
15 Nov, 2021 11:06 PM6 mins to read

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Seara shared her story online. Photo / TikTok

Seara shared her story online. Photo / TikTok

Warning: Content in this story might be distressing to some readers

A US woman has used the medium of TikTok to share her own story of surviving familial sexual abuse — and to hold her abuser to account.

Seara shared how a conversation at school turned her family's life upside down, leading to her being taken into state care and her stepfather spending a decade behind bars.

She told the story in a series of videos, beginning with the day that her mother discovered what her husband had been doing in the family home.

It started when her mother received a call from school, alerting her that 7-year-old Seara had been playing "doctor" with a boy at school.

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Seara's mum sat her down to discuss what happened and to ensure she knew about good and bad touching.

Glancing at her stepfather, the little girl said: "Touching is OK if they really love you and promise to keep it a secret right?"

Seara as a child. Photo / Supplied
Seara as a child. Photo / Supplied

The devastated mum later asked her daughter what she meant, and Seara explained how her stepfather had repeatedly abused her.

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Her mum believed her immediately, confronting her husband and telling him to write down everything he had done and to sign it.

When she read his confession she realised that the abuse was not limited to Seara.

He also admitted to abusing her stepbrother - his own son.

She took immediate action, beating him with a baseball bat and tasing him in the groin.

In a video, Seara explained how she first learned of the violent punishment.

"Mom, why does dad have a black eye?" she asked the next morning when she saw her injured stepfather.

"What your stepdad did to you was very wrong baby," her mother gently explained.

"And you need to know that it wasn't okay. So I punished him."

Her mum was planning on taking the evidence she collected to police, while she made arrangements to leave with Seara and her younger sister.

Financially dependent on her husband, she feared that her children would end up in foster care if she didn't make arrangements before involving the authorities.

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"She was absolutely terrified of the foster care system because she grew up in it and had a terrible experience … she never wanted that for us," Seara explained.

"But she never left us alone with my stepfather ever again - even for one second … she did protect her as best she could."

But when Seara shared some of her story at school the police were notified and she and her sister ended up in foster care for several years.

After a long battle, Seara's mum got her daughters back, but tragedy struck when she died while Seara was in her teens.

Seara's pain was then compounded when her sister Krista was murdered.

Healing and justice

As well as using her platform to share the story of her mother's bravery and her survival of abuse, Seara also uses it to shine a light on her abuser.

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She revealed that her stepfather served a 10-year sentence and was then released, going on to have a new family and become a preacher who used her abuse as a redemption story about himself.

Her stepfather is still a registered sex offender in the US. Photo / Supplied
Her stepfather is still a registered sex offender in the US. Photo / Supplied

She repeatedly shared his details and reached out to anyone else that might have been affected by his behaviour.

She also attended a hearing where her stepfather was attempting to be removed from the sex offender registry, looking him in the eye and delivering testimony that ensured his name was not removed.

She also contacted his church and worked to have him removed from some of the positions he held.

She began receiving stories from others who had survived abuse and began sharing them as well, providing support for them and helping them to take ownership of their stories.

"I know it's hard to come forward. I know all you need is advice or someone to tell you you're not alone. Let me be your voice," she wrote.

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SEXUAL HARM - DO YOU NEED HELP?

If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone contact the Safe to Talk confidential crisis helpline on:
• Text 4334 and they will respond
• Email support@safetotalk.nz
• Visit https://safetotalk.nz/contact-us/ for an online chat
Alternatively contact your local police station - click here for a list.
If you have been abused, remember it's not your fault.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE - DO YOU NEED HELP?

If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111.

If you're in danger now:

• Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours of friends to ring for you.

• Run outside and head for where there are other people.

• Scream for help so that your neighbours can hear you.

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• Take the children with you.

• Don't stop to get anything else.

• If you are being abused, remember it's not your fault. Violence is never okay

Where to go for help or more information:

• Women's Refuge: Free national crisis line operates 24/7 - 0800 refuge or 0800 733 843

www.womensrefuge.org.nz

• Shine, free national helpline 9am- 11pm every day - 0508 744 633

www.2shine.org.nz

• It's Not Ok: Information line 0800 456 450

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www.areyouok.org.nz

• Shakti: Providing specialist cultural services for African, Asian and middle eastern women and their children. Crisis line 24/7 0800 742 584

• Ministry of Justice:

www.justice.govt.nz/family-justice/domestic-violence

• National Network of Stopping Violence:

www.nnsvs.org.nz

• White Ribbon: Aiming to eliminate men's violence towards women, focusing this year on sexual violence and the issue of consent.

www.whiteribbon.org.nz

How to hide your visit

If you are reading this information on the Herald website and you're worried that someone using the same computer will find out what you've been looking at, you can follow the steps at the link here to hide your visit. Each of the websites above also have a section that outlines this process.

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