This wedding's a washout

Photo / Bay of Plenty Times

It's supposed to be the happiest day of your life, but for some unlucky couples the long-awaited dream wedding can become a nightmare.

Auckland wedding celebrant Peta Hardley has seen everything - from the groom drinking too much, to the bride turning up two hours late, to the happy couple not being able to use the signing table as it had the unconscious body of a drunk guest sprawled across it.

One of the worst was when a family member was run over on his way to the church.

"My daughter, a wedding photographer, witnessed the uncle of a bride get hit by a car just as he was running across the road to beat the bride into the church," Hardley said. "He was all right but was taken off in an ambulance. The ceremony continued but with a very shaky tear-stained bride."

Celebrant Constance Brown said she has attended weddings where one or two of the guests have collapsed and had ambulances called for them.

"It's very stressful, of course, but in each case the couple and their family and friends have rallied and worked together to sort things out."

Emails from wedding guests have told of brides who got drunk and threw up during the reception, venues that cancelled a few days before the ceremony, a family member passing away the day before the wedding and, sadly, a family member who suffered a heart attack while at the wedding.

Online blogs are full of wedding horror stories, including this one on www.fmylife.com:

"Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honour, the other was my groom."

Auckland-based photographer Nicola Topping attended a wedding where a specially-ordered British black cab didn't show up to take the bride to the venue - because the company had gone out of business.

"She was from the UK and it was the one thing she really, really wanted because it was the only British aspect of her wedding," said Topping.

"Instead she had to drive herself to her wedding in a Rav, which wasn't exactly what she had in mind."

And sometimes, it's not even at the wedding where things can start to go terribly wrong.

An Auckland-based student, who did not want to be named, said at her engagement party a close male friend showed up drunk and proceeded to flirt with her mother.

"The climax of the night was when he got up on the dance floor and pulled down his pants to flash everyone," she said.

"Everyone was a bit shocked but took it all in good humour."

And when things do go wrong, some women know how to turn it around.

Michelle Mars, a Wellington-based sexologist, said she recently attended a party in Sydney that a ditched-at-the-altar bride threw for her friends.

"I went to party in a swanky club in Sydney where the bride, who is the CEO of a large and prominent Sydney financial institution, got ditched," she said.

"So she threw a flash party and came dressed as the sluttiest bride in the world. She looked fabulous, and I guess the idea was to post the photos on Facebook and make her ex-partner feel bad!"

Play anything but 'Band On The Run'

When Adele Atkinson organised her January wedding in Rotorua she expected everything to run perfectly - then the band didn't show up.

Atkinson, 32, an Auckland solicitor, said the 155 guests at her wedding were left without music and a sound system for speeches after the ceremony because the band got the date wrong.

In addition, the food arrived to the venue late, leaving the fish "ruined".

"At our wedding we had drinks before we got married out on the lawn and had a jazz band, which were great, then we had the ceremony," she said.

"It wasn't until we went down for dinner afterwards at 6.30pm, when the band were supposed to be there, that we realised they weren't there - they were in Tauranga.

"Unfortunately, they got the date wrong."

Luckily, someone found some CDs and a sound system with a microphone to do speeches and Adele was able to stay calm.

"I was actually quite surprised with myself because I'm usually highly critical of these sorts of things and make sure they don't happen, but it always gets sorted out and I managed to stay relaxed."

The band eventually showed up - nearly two hours late - and the night continued without a hitch.

Adele's advice? "The music was the one thing I left for my husband to organise. My advice would be not to leave that sort of thing for your husband to sort out!"

How to avoid the pitfalls
* Plan thoroughly. You can avoid bad weather disasters by having a Plan B for most aspects of your wedding.
* Have at least one, preferably two, other people who know the whole plan for the day who can troubleshoot if things go wrong. This leaves the bride and groom free to enjoy themselves.
* Have a rehearsal at the same venue, if possible, with all the bridal party present.
* Don't plan too tight a schedule and have a bit of leeway built in to allow for cars to arrive late, panic attacks and guests who get lost enroute to the reception.
* Try to maintain a relaxed manner and go with the flow. If the flowers aren't perfect, don't panic. No one will notice except you.
* If all else fails, smile, and get on with it. If a couple can laugh it off and get through some of those hiccups it bodes well for the relationship. And at the end of the day, you will still be married and love each other.
Tips from celebrants Peta Hardley and Constance Brown.