‘Theybies’: Parents speak out about letting young children choose their own gender

"Theybies" are children brought up without gender designation from birth. Photo / 123RF

An explosive teaser of this Sunday’s episode of 60 Minutes has clocked up more than four million views on social media.

The previewed segment will shed light on an “unprecedented” parenting trend that lets young children choose their own gender.

Known as “theybies” – a portmanteau of the pronoun “they” and the word “baby”, and a concept that’s gained traction since about 2018 – the children are brought up without gender designation from birth, and are referred to by their parents using they/them/their pronouns.

One parent who is raising their child without gender said: “We didn’t assign a gender at birth … We’re not trying to eliminate gender, we’re just really helping kids find their own path to it.”

“I’m letting this little person be who they want to be,” another parent featured in the preview said.

“Strangers in the street have had quite a strong response. Why are you so obsessed? Why do you need to know?”

Meet the 'theybies'. Not baby boys, not baby girls. SUNDAY on #60Mins, the new parenting trend letting young children choose their own gender. pic.twitter.com/wPLc4w4ql8

— 60 Minutes Australia (@60Mins) March 29, 2023

While parents are increasingly raising their kids outside of traditional gender norms – for example, sharing clothes and toys – what sets gender-open parenting apart is that they do not reveal the sex of their child to anyone, in the hopes the latter won’t be pigeonholed into gender stereotypes.

Even the child, while aware of their own body parts and how they may differ from others, is not taught to associate those body parts with being a boy or a girl.

Developmental experts told America’s NBC News that while it’s a noble method, gender-open parenting may not hold up once kids enter a gendered world.

“Once your child meets the outer world, which may be daycare, or preschool, or grandparents – it’s pretty much impossible to maintain a gender-free state,” Chicago Medical School professor of neuroscience Lise Eliot told the outlet.

“And depending on how conventional your community is, you could be setting your child up for bullying or exclusion.”

It’s important, developmental psychologist and author Christia Spears Brown, told NBC, for parents of theybies to prepare their children for “a society that’s really obsessed with a gender binary”.

“And people are going to want to put that child into one of those binary categories. And so for children to not be confused, parents have to give kids the language and the understanding of recognising that ‘I’m not taking part in this binary’.”