Let's face it - we all wish our midlife crisis looked this good. Photo / Getty
Let's face it - we all wish our midlife crisis looked this good. Photo / Getty
By Richard Jones
For the uninitiated a midlife crisis is roughly defined as a transition of identity as you reach those awkward middle aged years. This period comes a close second in the awkwardness scale to adolescence - which, as you will all know, is very uncomfortable.
The midlife crisiscan be clearly seen in former footballer and now semi-retired celebrity David Beckham, who appears to be tapping into his teenage spirit, growing his hair out and looking increasingly like Kurt Cobain.
It's all come to a head this week when Beckham posted pictures on Instagram of him indulging his childish fantasies by taking six days off to build a 4,000 piece Lego castle for his six year old daughter Harper.
Perhaps now, at the age of 42, he's no longer sure who he wants to be any more... but he's so devishly handsome that he seems to be getting away with it with absolute panache.
A midlife crisis doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. After your mad twenties, it's nice to be able to find the time to reflect on the good things you have in life. This has seen Beckham treat his daughter Harper like a princess - quite literally, she had her sixth birthday party at Buckingham Palace. Which is absolutely lovely, but proof that he has a lot more time on his hands now he is enjoying his semi-retirement.
An unfortunate sign of hitting middle age is you start to reminisce about the good times - don't worry, David, you've got plenty of fragrance endorsements ahead of you. This has meant that Beckham has turned into the most embarrassing dad alive, posting a slew of pictures on Instagram from an era when his children weren't left red-faced by his antics.
We all kind of wish that we could take a week off to build a massive Lego castle. Unfortunately, we have not amassed a personal fortune of £33 million and therefore have to go to work to pay for, you know, the kids and the mortgage. What's that, Harper? You want a Lego Millennium Falcon for Christmas? No problem, coming right up: I'll even book another week off to go shopping with you for it.
EMIGRATING TO THE COTSWOLDS
It's happening. After 20 years of living it large in the big city, you decide that it's time to settle down with all the other embarrassing dads suffering from their own debilitating midlife crisises. So you decide to buy a really, really big house in the country and become the Britpop stereotype you thought you'd never be. Dust down your Barbour jacket - you live in Chipping Norton now.
PAIRING SOCKS WITH SANDALS
Does this mean its now OK to wear socks and sandals, cos' David Beckham is? 😮 pic.twitter.com/wT1IOyzusI
I don't know what's worse - a man in his forties swinging about pretending to be an 80s action hero, or that cowboy hat? The cowboy hat, always the cowboy hat.
*Groan*. We've all had that single, middle-aged neighbour who keeps you up at night while he revs his prized motorbike. You've never seen him ride. It's far too big for anyone to ride, really. And that sad man is now David Beckham.
He think's he's channeling Marlon Brando. He's closer to Ed Milliband.
