Welcome to the Xtreme Eating awards for 2017, which name and shame the most disgustingly unhealthy meals served in American restaurant chains.
According to News.com.au, nearly every single meal on the list exceeds the recommended intake of calories, fat, salt and sugar a healthy adult would normally eat over the course of an entire day.
Just as a point of reference, the Australian Healthy Food Guide says the average adult should consume about 8700 kilojoules (just over 2000 calories) every day, depending on their body type and energy needs.
That includes 70 grams of fat and up to 2300 milligrams of sodium.
So what made the list of the grossest offenders?
THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY
Popular Californian chain The Cheesecake Factory has the dubious honour of never once going home empty-handed from the Xtreme Eating awards.
This year, according to America's Center for Science in the Public Interest, it was a doubly dishonoured - ironically, neither dish had anything to do with cheesecake.
First, the restaurant's "Pasta Napoletana" won the "Worst Adapted Pasta" category, incorporating piles of sausage, pepperoni, meatballs on pasta heaped with butter and cream.
Apparently, it was the answer to the chain's chief culinary officer, Donald Moore, when he asked: "How can we turn a meatlover's pizza into a pasta?"
It weighs in at a whopping 2310 calories, complete with 49 grams of saturated fat and 4370 milligrams of sodium.
Second, The Cheesecake Factory won "Worst Cocktail Design" for their "Flying Gorilla", which is a boozy milkshake with 950 calories, 26 grams of saturated fat, and approximately 60 grams of added sugar.
INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PANCAKES
IHOP is another California-based chain, and it was named and shamed for having the "Least Original Breakfast".
The chain's "Cheeseburger Omelette" features eggs heaped with hamburger pattie pieces, hashbrowns, tomatoes, onions, cheese, sauce and pickles - and it's commonly served with a pile of chunky buttermilk pancakes and butter.
It has 1990 calories, 45 grams of saturated fat, a worrying 4580 milligrams of sodium, and about 44 grams of added sugar.
This restaurant proves even vegetables are not what they seem.
Texas Roadhouse is actually based in Kentucky, and its Prime Rib won the "Most Damage from a Supporting Vegetable" category.
The massive meal comes in at 1570 calories by itself, but the meal becomes dangerously fatty when customers add their two side dishes.
Texas Roadhouse is famous for its "Loaded Sweet Potato", which costs just 99 US cents (A$1.23) and is simply disgusting.
The vegetable comes smothered in mini marshmallows and caramel sauce.
Unfortunately, that's not a joke.
Even their salad comes soaked in dressing, bringing the ribs and two sides to a combined total of 2820 calories, with 72 grams of saturated fat, 5330 milligrams of sodium, and about 51 grams of added sugar.
"Leave it to America's chain restaurant industry to market a stack of pancakes as a side dish, or to lard up quesadillas and pasta with pizza toppings, or to ruin a perfectly good sweet potato," said CSPI senior nutritionist Lindsay Moyer.
"These meals are extreme, but even the typical dishes served at restaurants are a threat to Americans' health because they increase the risk of obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and more."