The Dating Diaries: Why living better is the best break up revenge

Being bitter after a break up will get you nowhere. But being better? That will get your everywhere, writes Lillie Rohan. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION:

Being bitter after a break-up will get you nothing but regrets, frown lines and an appointment at the cosmetics clinic. But being better - that will get you everywhere.

We've all been the Mayor of break-up town at least once in our lives. You're freshly dumped, trying to pull yourself together with a mixture of ice cream and pink wine while the person you thought was your soulmate, has run off with someone who wears a lot of Lululemon and doesn't eat carbs.

It's hands down one of the most painful situations to be in and sits right up there with realising that pink wine bottle is empty and there isn't another one in the fridge. No one would blame you if you just hid away, didn't get your roots done and wore a lot of stained hoodies for the next month.

But what if I told you there was another way of navigating this soul-destroying time that doesn't include stalking his new girl on Insta and inevitably also spending $500 at Lululemon?

Instead, what if you simply moved on with your life?

Once you've been scathed by the flames of love it's easy to see why there is such a thin line between love and hate. They're both extremely passionate emotions and lead to intense reactions, it's why Adele has sold over 120 million records.

But a recent trend has emerged on TikTok where women react with "so be it" to all the situations out of their control and instead of seeking revenge they accept and refocus on striving for the best.

The thought process goes a little something like this:

You got dumped? They weren't right for you anyway. You're now sad that you downed a bottle of pink wine and a tub of ice cream? Everyone deserves a treat every now and then. You've cried for the past three days? Better out than in as Shrek always says.

It's a mindset I'm 99 per cent sure Adele has adopted because she is the epitome of living well post break up. Our girl is literally glowing so brightly in Louis Vuitton tracksuits that I need sunglasses to look at her.

After hibernating longer than Michael Bublé in the lead up to Christmas, the Rolling in the Deep singer reemerged donning a Twiggy like eyeliner, blinding highlighter, and a slimmed-down figure. But the weight loss had nothing to do with it, our reinvigorated Queen had learned to love herself again and she was thriving.

The reason? "Divorce, babes, divorce".

True to form she released another heart-wrenching album, but while promoting it there was a lightness surrounding her, a sudden zest for life and you know what they say about women with a zest for life, they're irresistible.

Instead of being the woman singing about her former lover and giving off huge "I drunk dial my ex every Friday and Saturday night" vibes, there was something intriguing about her. Her happiness - and boy oh boy is it attractive.

While she's currently in hiding planning her Las Vegas take over, somewhere out there I know that Adele is the woman in the room who has not only the best-winged eyeliner but also values herself more than her relationship status.

She really said "you could have had it all" to her former lover and so should you, because as painful as break-ups are, it's not always a tragedy. Break up season can be cause for celebration and a much-deserved do-over.

So stop the Insta stalking and attempting to go full Liam Neeson, tracking their Snapchat locations and whispering to yourself "what I do have is a very particular set of skills". And instead, start saying "Hello" to new opportunities, epic nights with your pals and book that appointment to get your roots done.

You've got this babes.