The hopeless romantic
If you ever go missing chances are it's because you ran away with someone who gave you their undivided attention for more than three days. No one would even be mad at you because romance is the number one priority in your life and you're not ashamed about it. How do people even survive without chasing a rom-com life?
People often mistake your feelings for love but you never let your relationships become that deep, it's the honeymoon period that really ticks your boxes which is why you have a new partner every few months. For you, it's all about keeping things easy, breezy and fun.
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The career chaser
When creating your five-year plan you seemed to have forgotten to include "find love" and once your mum pointed it out you quickly scribbled it on the bottom of your plan but you're not fooling anyone babe. It's so low on your list of priorities that you enlisted the trusty motto "If it's meant to be it will be".
There are certain things that are out of your control, love is one of them but your career isn't which is why you're hustling your little butt off trying to secure yourself a seat at the table. You have no time to cry over a broken heart when you're trying to get on that Forbes list.
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The free spirit
Single is your name, independence is your game. To you, a relationship feels like extremely heavy chains holding you down and even thinking about it gives you hives - that's why your first and only love is an adventure.
Living life as a free spirit means you barely have a plan for tomorrow let alone 5 years. You will chase anything except a long term lover so the only way you'll end up in a relationship is if the person falls into your lap somewhere in between riding donkeys in the Himalayas and volunteering to help clean plastic out of the Pacific Ocean.
The serial dater
Whether you're with a friend, a Tinder match, the local coffee shop barista or your gym instructor, your dating diary is full. There is nothing you love more than going out with someone you barely know and despite what people may think, you're not in it for love, you just really like getting to know people and feeling desired. Is it narcissism? No, it's called being 30, flirty and thriving, baby.
You always have the best stories to tell like that one time you were dating Kim Kardashian and the whole world was torn as they speculated if it was a PR stunt.
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The cynic
It's not that you don't believe in love, you're just a realist and you know love is a result of chemical reactions in your brain, so naturally, it can't last forever. That's what you tell your mum anyway. The real reason you aren't chasing love is that the one time you gave in to your feelings it was a disaster and you felt like your heart had been ripped out. It took weeks for your eyes to de-puff.
If anti-Valentines Day was a person, it would be you. Everything ends, everyone's cheating, dating is a waste of time.
The flirt
Who solves problems with their charm? You do! You get the best table in the restaurant, exclusive entry to clubs and basically whatever else you want because you make everyone feel like a million bucks. The only thing you can't seem to get is a date.
Being a flirty legend isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sure you're charming, friendly and know all the right things to say (or not to say) and you've nailed the Samantha Jones sexy eyes, but that's the problem, everyone likes you but not enough to ask you out. Between us, it's because people think you're out of their league.
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The situationship
Are you single, are you taken? You have no idea, the person you're spending four nights a week with has no idea and Valentine's Day is going to be a very awkward day for you two.
You don't really want to take this person home to your parents but you find yourself getting mad if they don't reply to your messages. Worst of all, they are probably an ex you can't seem to shake. Your situationship is smothered in undertones of "they've changed" and "it's not serious", but when you're at the bar eyeing up a cutie on the d-floor you can't help but become overwhelmed with guilt. Your whole life is a ball of confusion.
Someone, make it stop.
The Bachelor/Bachelorette
You love the independence of not having a partner but your crushing insecurities mean you have to constantly have someone stroking your ego.
The most important roster in your life isn't your work roster, it's the one with the details of your sneaky links. You've become so good at "baching" you have a whole system based on who you see and when. Monday is your least favourite hook-up, Wednesday is the one you can have a beer with and feels like a mate, Saturday is the one you're too scared to talk to sober but low-key love and Sunday has boy/girlfriend potential if you ever decide to ahem, embrace your feelings (ew).
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The polyamory
When you say more the merrier, you quite literally mean it. You're not in one committed relationship, you're in multiple. You believe life is too short to live monogamously so therefore, you don't.
While some will say you're afraid of commitment and want to have your cake and eat it too, you just roll your eyes knowing you're living your best life in the only way you know-how, open and honestly.
I think that sums it up nicely, nine categories of singletons living a drama and commitment-free life because as the iconic Samantha Jones said, "This love stuff is a motherf*****."
