The Dating Diaries: The six types of boyfriends on Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is all about showing your significant other how much you care. Photo / Supplied

OPINION:

Valentine's Day is "commercialised, overrated and a waste of money" according to an ex-boyfriend of mine, but like me, you should say "thank u, next" to the haters who can't openly express their love, because this article is for those of you whose knickers aren't in a twist about the red and pink, Cupid-themed day.

Valentine's is the cutest day of the year. It's an entire day dedicated to your snuggle buddy, babe, baby, cutie pie, boo, or whatever other sickly-sweet nickname you have for your significant other. It's a day to appreciate the person who makes you laugh the most and your heart feel the biggest, so why not celebrate it?

And while you're celebrating being hit in the butt by Cupid's arrow, take a minute to read my Valentine's Day boyfriend pick'n'mix.

The 'new' boyfriend

You only met three weeks ago, the butterflies stop you from eating, and you overthink every exchange. You don't need to wear the cult favourite NARS Orgasm blush and you're still dancing around boundaries. If you don't want to scare your new bae off by obsessively talking about the L word this Valentine's, it might be best to save the celebrations for next year.

The 'extra romantic' boyfriend

Covid-19 put us in a bubble last year and you two still haven't popped it. He's clinging to you like glad wrap so it's no surprise your Valentine's Day is bursting with chocolate, heart emojis and an entire florist shop. Your V-Day is what rom-coms are made of.

via GIPHY

The 'toxic' boyfriend

Your friends hate him, your mum hates him even more, and your dad wants to slap him with his RM Williams - but he's the bad boy who makes you feel alive. He puts in minimal effort on a normal day and when it comes to Valentine's, you're not even sure if he is alive. He's off the grid or in bed with Carrie drinking cosmopolitans. Don't be the girl with "doormat" on your forehead.

The 'Friday night chick-flick' boyfriend

For a few weeks you've been wondering why he has curled up on the couch with you watching chick flicks but now you know. He was getting romantic Valentine's ideas. Your boo has organised a surprise picnic on the beach at sunset and pulled together all your favourite foods topped off with a bottle of Veuve Clicquot that makes your heart melt quicker then chocolate in the sun. After watching the sunset, he points to the sky for some romantic star gazing and grabs your hand like a clammy, spotty teenager.

The 'pretends to hate it but secretly loves it' boyfriend

He's made a very big deal about how "gross" Valentine's Day is and always says "yuck". But as you knew all along, he was doing that toxic masculinity thing in front of his friends. He might not enjoy PDA, but you wouldn't change it for anything when you see the cutest blush on his cheeks as he hands you a teddy bear, perfume and tells you "get ready, we have dinner at the fanciest restaurant in town".

The 'useless but lovable' boyfriend

You can't help but love this guy. He's a charming goofball, lives for the moment and barely remembers his own birthday, let alone Valentine's Day. When you give him your well thought out gift, his face turns white as he tries to figure out what the occasion is. He makes a lame excuse, disappears, and when you see him again a couple of hours later, he has the brightest smile and the prettiest bouquet for you that he probably picked out of his mum's garden.

Whatever boyfriend you might find yourself entangled with this Valentine's Day, remember, it takes two to tango and you can't do that with one unhappy flamingo so be sure to show your man some love as well.

Happy Valentine's, lovebirds.

via GIPHY