It's Christmas time and that can only mean one thing. Christmas parties are a go, clubs are buzzing and it's time for all you sexy singles to live your summer romance dreams by linking up with a holiday hottie.
But where do you start? What are you looking for in a summer fling? You've just come out of a four-month lockdown, double vaxxed (and as the saying goes, waxed and ready to party) so what now?
Never fear my hot guys and gals, you've read our Holiday gift guide, now read the sequel, the holiday summer fling guide.
Summer fling guide:
The boy next door
You know the one I'm talking about, what's his name? Jack? Liam? Brad? Mr Nice Guy is not only a cutie but has a steady job and no one has a bad word to say about him. You spent high school always wondering what if but were too busy chasing bad boys. But now the timing is right, you've matured and he's looking divine.
The girl next door
Like the boy next door, she is cute, smart, a bookworm living her life in fantasy, she's got big bright eyes and a shiny aura. If you want a taste for what it's like to date someone who isn't scared to admit they want kids and a white picket fence, she's your girl. Your mum will be giddy just thinking about it.
The gym bro
His Christmas present to you is a three-month gym membership and a lecture where he tells you he eats loads of protein and goes on shreds for himself, not the male gaze. While you're sipping a gin and tonic he's aggressively shaking his protein shake and quietly wondering if it's hot enough to take off his shirt and intimidate other ab baring gym bros. Did I mention he likes protein?
The high maintenance girl
Rule number one, don't even think about going swimming in something other than a freshwater lake, anything with chlorine will turn her hair green. You can't go camping – unless it's glamping because she's a city girl. You aren't allowed to do anything without her because she can't handle time alone and her whole image is being the gal with a boyfriend. It won't last but it will be a summer fling you won't forget.
The woke guy
You find yourself in love at first, he's so different to every other guy you've dated so you immediately cancel your hairdresser's appointment (it's all about being au-natural), tell your parents you want a tent for Christmas and even consider not showering except for once a week because he told you it would save the earth but after a couple of months, as you watch him suck on a disposable vape, you'll ask if he's all he's cracked up to be.
The wild child
When you wished upon a star to have a summer jam-packed with fun I bet you didn't think it would come in the form of her. A five-foot something pocket rocket of fun. December is jumping from Christmas party to Christmas party, and don't worry about formal invites because she knows the bouncer. New Year is spent at R&A, followed by an underground rave or gig every weekend in January. By the end of summer, you're begging for a month's leave so you can sleep.
The old dude
He savours his 750ml Ata Rangi Pinot Noir instead of sculling it like your mates with a 3-litre goon bag. You'll know what to buy him for Christmas because his signature look is a crisp shirt and R.M Williams boots - meanwhile he gifts you a shopping spree at Superette. You spend summer between his bach up north or his holiday home in Queenstown and when it's all over you realise there are plenty of years to be sophisticated but only a few to be young.
The mature woman
Recently divorced and ready to mingle, Margaret shows you the finer side of life but she's not to be mistaken for the old dude, while he wants to shower you in gifts, Margaret wants you to ignite her passion for life again. You do things you don't usually do like deep and meaningful talks under the stars, spontaneous trips together and she's not afraid to call you out if you start to treat her like an option which only makes you wonder what it would have been like if you were closer in age. Would she be your forever lover?
The friends with benefits
Chances are you've known them forever, you either went to school together or they've been a part of your friend group for so long they're as familiar as the 1pm press conferences, the thing is, you never really looked at each other until one night she wore a bright red, skin-tight dress – which happened to be the same night he broke up with his girlfriend of two years, and suddenly it was on. You both throw around the term friends with benefits as you sneak into each other's flats but decide to end it when you realise you hate seeing them with other potential flings but can't find yourself wanting to commit either.
If no one has told you this already, summer is way more fun when you aren't constantly worried about being or finding the perfect catch. Forget about dating this summer. Instead spend time with your besties who make you understand why Carrie Bradshaw said - it's that friends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.