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Home / Lifestyle

The Dating Diaries: My friends are having babies and buying houses, but I just want to have fun

Lillie Rohan
Lillie Rohan
Entertainment Writer·NZ Herald·
3 Jun, 2021 07:00 PM4 mins to read
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When you're in your twenties, it's okay if you don't have it all figured out, writes Lillie Rohan. Photo / Getty Images

When you're in your twenties, it's okay if you don't have it all figured out, writes Lillie Rohan. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION:

I'll set the scene.

It's a Sunday night and my BFF Punter and I are sitting in a restaurant booth having a glass or two of wine with dinner. We collectively have $150 in cash (won at the casino) and are discussing the trouble we got into at bottomless brunch the day before. Then we get a Facebook notification.

One of our friends is having a baby.

We look at each other and giggle. Welcome to your mid-twenties.

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It's the coolest age ever. You can be doing very adult things like having one too many wines at Sunday dinner while your friends are preparing to welcome a baby.

You don't live by Mum and Dad's rules, you have money (not heaps but you're not living on two-minute noodles), you can do basically whatever you want as long as you don't break the law (or do, because it's totally up to you) and best of all, you have some idea of how you want your life to play out.

But your mid-twenties are also this strange age where you fit into one of four categories:

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1. Charlotte (babies, marriage, and houses)
2. Samantha (career, career, career)
3. Carrie (a hot mess with no savings, a love triangle and an overflowing closet)
4. Miranda (career, house, marriage, babies)

Charlotte is who we'll be talking about today, because it's an epidemic.

Okay fine, it's not an epidemic but I've attended two weddings this year, at least four of my friends are sporting baby bumps, Facebook may as well be reserved for engagement announcements and buying a house is the hot new trend.

And when you're the Samantha/Carrie hybrid friend, it feels like everyone is jumping aboard the white picket fence bus and going on their merry little way while you wave them goodbye from your $300 a week apartment with a ringless finger and a pre-baby body.

My Charlotte friends are content in their life choices. More than content, they're over the moon, and why shouldn't they be? They're living the life they want. But as someone who can't think of anything worse than responsibility, I constantly ask, what's the rush?

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My stepmum told me your twenties are your years to be selfish, to learn what you like, who you like, and what you want, and once you've figured all that out, create a life to suit those values.

via GIPHY

Of course, when she said that she probably didn't mean "buy a cheap bottle of wine every Saturday, chase boys who have zero interest in you, then relay all of your mistakes in a dating column", but I'm sure it wasn't far off.

I love my life, I love not having responsibility, I love not having a clue about life, and my immense love for these things is why I wonder if my Charlotte friends are wasting their youth.

But the world would be boring if we were all the same. So when they tell me they are having a baby, I scream with joy. When they buy a house, I'll buy them a housewarming gift and when they get married, I'll be right beside them because love is what makes the world go round.

You probably have whiplash from how fast I went from calling these life choices an epidemic to supporting them (I kind of do too) but as I was writing I realised something.
You might not understand why your friends are Charlottes but you don't need to because it's not your baby, mortgage or husband.

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Some of us are Samanthas and Carries and some are Mirandas and Charlottes. None of these life paths are wrong.

But seriously, cool it on the engagement announcements. The dating pool is getting small.

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