Earlier this week, a box of sex toys landed on my editor’s desk.
From Dilly the Dildo to Bernie the Booty plug, the package came in hotter than Jessica arriving at Lulu Inn’s Bottomless Brunch on a Saturday afternoon and, naturally, we were too stunned to speak.
Not because we were embarrassed, we’re the Lifestyle and Entertainment team in a room full of hard news journalists after all. We’re used to being the topic of conversation: “OMG did you see their clearly coordinated matching outfits?” or “They really think Taylor Swift’s new boyfriend is breaking news, what a laugh!”
It’s truly a tough life caring about the light and fluffy, which is why a package of sex toys arriving was the perfect tension intermission.
Confused over whether we were working at Cosmopolitan or New Zealand’s oldest newspaper, we popped the PR pack in a cupboard, grabbed a coffee and pretended like we’d just been in a pre-caffeinated delusional state.
But, in a turn of events no one saw coming, the toys weren’t done with us just yet.
Later that day a saucy little email landed in our inboxes and, like a fresh set of window wipers in the rain, things became clear.
Forget everything you know about sex toys, Kiwis, because according to research from Adult Toy Mega Store, we’ve been getting things wrong. Like, really wrong. Stereotypes and societal misconceptions have led us to believe it’s the young sweet thangs buying up all the toys, but actually, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
In fact, new research has found over 40 per cent of the brand’s sales are from consumers over the age of 40 and I for one love to hear it.
If you’re looking at your wife thinking, “She doesn’t own a sex toy!” Oh Bob, Bob, Bob. Carol absolutely does. And if she doesn’t, maybe you should buy her one because my extra research includes the help of sex educator Emma Hewitt. She’s educated, she’s sassy and she believes women don’t have their highest sex drive in their younger days, they have it during “middle age”.
While the middle age stigma may sound frightening, the truth is the age group is absolutely fabulous. Just look at Victoria Beckham or Pamela Anderson. Hotties, the both of them.
Hewitt says, “Whether it’s a new-found confidence, peri-menopause causing hormones to fluctuate, or just comfort within their own bodies, many factors contribute to people in their 40s and 50s feeling the most sexually charged they have ever felt.”
“There’s a gross misconception that sexual exploration is a young person’s sport. Sexual pleasure isn’t bound by age.”
But while the Dirty 40s, 50s and 60s are really having their moment right now, Adult Toy Mega Store’s research found the Dirty 30s haven’t died and gone to couch potato heaven just yet. In fact, 29 per cent of their sales are from those aged 25 to 34 alone with a further 17 per cent aged 34 to 44.
So next time you’re second-guessing yourself, wondering if it’s too late to get into those types of adult toys, don’t. Middle age is your time to shine ... or vibe. Whatever ticks your box.
Lillie Rohan is an Auckland-based reporter covering lifestyle and entertainment stories who joined the Herald in 2020. She specialises in all things relationships and dating, great Taylor Swift ticket wars and TV shows you simply cannot miss out on.
