Five signs your relationship is on the rocks:
1.The Instagram "I love you"
As a flirty singleton, you'll notice two large eye-catching red flags when you're scrolling social media. The first is when someone has their partner's initials in their Instagram bio. It was incredibly cute in 2014 when IG first became a thing and your first boyfriend's initials in your bio felt like an engagement announcement - serious cool-girl vibes, but at this point, it's cheugy.
The other is the ick-inducing "I love you" posts on social media. Call me a cynic but the minute I see a post about how amazing someone's partner is, I've got the binoculars out. It's break-up watch time. Somewhere in between the "boo thang" and "my world" is the invisible confession that the relationship is struggling. Whether insecurity or complete unhappiness, spending time online proving your happiness simply means you're not spending time in real life being happy.
2. When going to work is more fun than going home
Oh boy, this one is straight out of a rom-com when the protagonist finds out her husband is cheating on her with the receptionist. A cliche of course, but it wouldn't be a cliche if it wasn't true. It's a hard pill to swallow because, let's be honest with each other, no one in their sane mind prefers work over quality time with their partner - unless the quality time feels like an obligation in which case, your relationship is on the rocks, honey.
The spark, the sizzle, the overwhelming lust is gone. Count your losses and move on because in 2022 there are things we won't do, like working for free and staying in unfulfilling relationships.
3. Lack of affection
Ah, the physical ick, one sure sign your relationship won't make it through to next summer. Lack of affection is not to be mistaken for a rut because if your only issue is you've found a routine where bumpy cuddles happen at the same time every week, it's a rut and you can very likely fix it. But if you're feeling more like friends who engage in a make-out session three times a year – yes a year, it might be your body telling you something your mind isn't ready to accept.
If you lie in bed looking at your partner and cringe because the haircut you once thought was sexy now makes you want to hurl, have a look at your relationship as a whole and consider if it's worth continuing, after all, where there's smoke, there's fire and chances are the physical ick isn't your only warning sign.
4. You're trying to change each other
If you feel like two bulls butting heads every minute of every day until you're lying on the floor too exhausted to speak it's time to say hasta la vista to your boo thang. The universe has a way of letting you know what's right and what's wrong. Hear me out: if something is right everything falls into place surprisingly easily, the timing, the place and especially the person.
But if you're working really hard to make something happen and you're constantly met with roadblocks, it could be time to say ta ta. He likes going out every Saturday night, you want to go on a date night, he's a night person, you're a morning person, he likes to travel, you're a homebody - some things can be worked through but others are sure signs the chemistry is right but the practicality is not.
5.You fight a lot
Of course, couples argue, we all know that, but I'm not talking about the fights where an hour later you cool down and rationally talk through the issue. I'm talking about the nuclear emotion fights where you're 99 per cent sure that if your partner doesn't get out of your breathing space you may spontaneously combust from irrational rage. And I'm especially talking about the huge blow-ups you have about things as little as putting the peanut butter in the fridge when it's CLEARLY meant to be in the pantry.
If you are screaming at each other more than you're laughing or smiling with each other it's time for an intervention. Please, for the sake of your happiness, evaluate your choices. You both deserve so much more than constant fights.
And while I am a humble dating columnist, if any of the issues strike a chord with you, why not reach out to a qualified relationship counsellor? They might be able to help you refind that joy in a way that doesn't involve splitting everything you own.
Valentine's Day cops a lot of hate but it's a great time to reevaluate your relationship and either fall even more in love or ponder if you want to spend another year chasing your tail in a circle.
