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Home / Lifestyle

The Dating Diaries: 25 and single. Is there something wrong with me?

Lillie Rohan
By Lillie Rohan
Entertainment Writer·NZ Herald·
27 May, 2022 07:00 PM4 mins to read

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Turns out being single in your twenties is quite a lot of fun, writes Lillie Rohan. Photo / Supplied

Turns out being single in your twenties is quite a lot of fun, writes Lillie Rohan. Photo / Supplied

Lillie Rohan
Opinion by Lillie Rohan
Lillie Rohan is an Entertainment Writer for New Zealand’s Herald and host of It’s a Date podcast.
Learn more

OPINION:

"I'm seriously worried I'll never find a boyfriend. I'm 25 and single, is there something wrong with me?"

It was a question from my very fabulous, charismatic, way-too-intelligent-to-be-worrying-about-this-kind-of-thing bestie that had me gobsmacked. Not only because I was sitting there thinking the exact same thing, but because as soon as she said it out loud I realised how silly it sounded.

I'm also 25, I've had one serious relationship and a bunch of kind-of sort-of maybe boyfriends, but I currently spend Sundays watching New Girl by myself with no semi-serious lover in sight.

Does it make me want to die inside? Not as much as Bridget Jones would have you believe.

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Still, I can't help but wonder if I'll look back on these days and realise I wasted my heyday with mediocre lads simply because they were giving me the bare minimum.

So I decided the only way to get through this dilemma is to stop focusing on the daunting future and focus on the fun and flirty facts about being single in your twenties instead.

This decade of your life is defined by hot messes, hangovers that get devastatingly worse with each year and a fun, flirty and very sexy casual dating life. Your twenties are also a time when it's very easy to dub yourself the new Bachelorette who has been cast for as many seasons as it takes to find "the one".

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And the best part of all? You don't have to take any of the contestants, ahem, dates, seriously because it's not like you are ready to get married – unless you are in which case, sister, why are you reading a dating column?

This decade of your life is often described as your "selfish" years or as I like to call them, your main character years, meaning being single is very on-brand. It's the time when instead of wasting hours focusing on that weird text from your "boyfriend", you spend time focusing on yourself. Wondering who you are and what you want from life.

For example, are you a hot girl walks and Pilates kind of gal or more a three protein shakes a day and heavy weights? Do you prefer to work a corporate nine to five job or do you enjoy working in retail? That was a trick question, no one enjoys working. Point is, you can find out all of this and more because you are in your twenties.

And if you ever feel bad about spending your entire pay cheque and subsequently dipping into your savings account, don't, because as my friends and I say every weekend before buying an overpriced bottle of wine and a dozen oysters, "it's the only time in your life that you've got no serious commitments, treat yourself".

via GIPHY

Covid may have messed with the fun, flirty, single in your twenties vision by taking away some of the golden perks like overseas trips with your other single pals and snogging strangers on a club dancefloor but it's all coming back now and we have to make up for lost time.

Whenever I feel bad about being single, I remind myself of the time when I was 14, writing in my diary because the cutie I was crushing on didn't text me back. It hand on heart felt like the world was ending and the tear stains on the pages prove it, but when I reflected years later, I realised the world surprisingly didn't end and he was very much not the guy for me.

How I felt looking back on my 14-year-old crush is exactly how you're going to feel when you're 35, and you're looking back on this moment. The world isn't ending, and being single in your twenties is quite a lot of fun.

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