We convince ourselves that staying in place is the safest option. But is it? Photo / 123rf
We convince ourselves that staying in place is the safest option. But is it? Photo / 123rf
Staying in your comfort zone avoids risk, but limits growth and breeds regret, says reinvention coach Katia Vlachos.
I once had a client – we’ll call her Anna – who had spent 10 years in the same job. It wasn’t fulfilling, but it had a steady pay cheque,predictable work hours and a role that didn’t challenge her too much. “It’s not terrible,” she told me, “but I feel stuck.”
Feeling stuck is what happens when we let comfort drive our choices, consciously or subconsciously. We convince ourselves that staying in place is the safest option. But is it?
Our comfort zone is warm, predictable, familiar. So, we stay. This happens every time we tell ourselves “next year, I’ll make a change” or “now is not the right time”. The problem with that thinking is that there’s never a perfect time to step into the unknown. And the longer we wait, the harder it becomes.
At first glance, staying in your comfort zone seems harmless. You avoid risk, failure, and disappointment. What you’re also avoiding: opportunities, fulfilment, your dreams and aspirations.
In reality, your comfort zone is a cage. It limits you. It keeps you from growing into the person you could be. Worst of all, it breeds regret. Research shows people are far more likely to regret the chances they didn’t take rather than the ones they did – even if they failed. Even when you fail, you learn something. So, you can never really fail.
Inaction, on the other hand, leaves you with nothing but what-ifs: what if you had started that business? Applied for that dream job? Said yes instead of no? Five years from now, will you still be standing in the same spot, wondering what could have been?
Anna feared failure, rejection, the unknown. For her to get unstuck, the pain of staying stuck would have to be greater than her fear of leaving. When I asked her to imagine herself in the same place five years later, she was terrified. She knew she had to change. She chose fear in the short term over regret in the long run.
But what if you didn’t have to wait until things became unbearable? What if you made the choice to leave before you had to? The most successful, fulfilled people don’t lack fear. They just don’t let it make their decisions for them.
Research shows people regret missed opportunities far more than failed attempts. Photo / 123rf
Signs you’re in the comfort zone trap
If you’re not sure whether you’re playing it too safe (though if you’re asking the question, you probably are), here are some signs:
You feel stagnant. Life feels predictable. You aren’t learning, growing or stretching yourself.
You stay busy to distract yourself. Instead of addressing the bigger issue (that you’re unhappy), you fill your time with minor tasks to feel productive.
You dream of change, but never act. You keep telling yourself “one day, I’ll do it”.
You envy people who take risks. When you see someone else going after what they want, you feel a pang of jealousy. Deep down, you wish you had their courage.
Recognising the signs is the first step. Taking action on that awareness is what makes a difference.
How to break free
If you’re stuck in your comfort zone, consider the following:
1. Identify your invisible ‘cages’
What are the self-imposed “rules” and beliefs that limit you and keep you where you are?
While these beliefs may feel yours, they’re usually not. Most often they’re messages you received and internalised early in life. You can challenge them: “What if I could change careers?” “What if I am someone who takes risks?” “What if it’s the perfect time to change?”
Reinvention coach Katia Vlachos.
2. Take that first step
You don’t need to make a massive life change overnight. You can start small: apply for that job; sign up for that class; say yes to something that scares you. Momentum builds when you take action, one tiny step at a time.
3. Reframe fear
Instead of avoiding fear, see it as evidence that you’re growing and stretching beyond what’s comfortable. Think about a time when you did something scary – a big presentation, challenging conversation or learning something new. How did you feel afterwards? Probably a mix of relief, pride and newfound confidence. You can have many more such moments by leaning into discomfort.
Fear-based thinking is often inherited from childhood experiences or societal norms. Photo / 123rf
4. Surround yourself with expanders
Do you have people in your life who make you feel like anything is possible, while others make you doubt yourself? Seek out the first kind. Surround yourself with people who challenge themselves, take risks and push beyond their comfort zones. Their courage will be contagious. They’re also likely to recognise your potential and challenge you to grow. If you don’t have those people in your immediate circle, read books, listen to podcasts, follow people online who inspire you.
5. Imagine your future self
Picture two versions of yourself five years from now. In the first version, you stayed where you are. Life is predictable, but dull. In the second, you challenged yourself and took risks. Maybe you failed a few times, but you learned and evolved. Which version of you do you want to become?
What’s on the other side?
Anna finally left her job. Not for another “safe” corporate role, but to start her own business. It wasn’t easy. There were moments of doubt and fear. But she kept moving. A year later, she told me, “I’ve never felt more alive.”
On the other side of your comfort zone is your aliveness. So, I invite you to ask yourself: what are you avoiding that’s keeping you small? And what’s one step you can take today to change that? The only thing scarier than taking a risk is looking back one day and realising you could have lived fully – and didn’t.
Uncaged: A Good Girl's Journey to Reinvention by Katia Vlachos
