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Home / Lifestyle

The brutal reactions to people with severe facial deformities

Daily Mail
4 May, 2017 04:21 AM5 mins to read

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YouTube / ABC TV

Australians with extreme facial differences have shared brutally honest answers to some of the most vile questions they have been asked by strangers.

Seven people with facial differences appeared on ABC's You Can't Ask That on Wednesday night, a show which aims to break down commonly held stereotypes.

Disability activist Carly Findlay was joined by Kiara Higgins, Dean Clifford, Elly from Adelaide, Bradley Dowling, Belinda Downes and Val from Perth, each with conditions which made them appear different.

Dean Clifford lives with the skin condition Epidermolysis Bullosa, or EB as it's commonly known. Photo / Facebook
Dean Clifford lives with the skin condition Epidermolysis Bullosa, or EB as it's commonly known. Photo / Facebook

The guests were asked questions sent in by the public, ranging from "what is wrong with you," to intimate details about their romantic lives, reports the Daily Mail.

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Val, who suffered burns to 85 per cent of her body, said she was told "I guess you wish you were dead" by a complete stranger.

Val said she did not even own a camera.

Belinda Downes from Newcastle, who was born with a cleft condition, said she went out on one date but it did not go to plan.

"I went out on one date. We went to a choir and he fell asleep," she said.

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"It's a date killer," she said referring to her condition.

Ms Findlay, who was born with a skin condition which caused inflammation and itchiness, said she was told she was "ugly" and "disgusting".

"I remember being in a pub once and a man came up to me and asked me 'what's wrong with you?' and I said 'nothing' and he said 'no, no, what is wrong with you? Because you're too disgusting to look like that' " she said.

Ms Findlay said her condition caused her a lot of emotional pain when she was younger, and while it did not get easier, she taught herself how to deal with it better.

Carly Findlay revealed the time she wound up on social media site Reddit after her photo was shared to millions of users worldwide. Photo / Facebook
Carly Findlay revealed the time she wound up on social media site Reddit after her photo was shared to millions of users worldwide. Photo / Facebook

"I always just wanted to fit in," she said.

"When I was really young, 9 or 10, my mum had to take me to the councillor because I wanted to kill myself."

Ms Findlay also revealed her experience with dating, before she ultimately was married.

"I did a lot of internet dating when I was younger and I went on a date with this guy who said 'don't you just wish you could change your face so you look a bit less hideous?"' she said.

Elly from Adelaide also shared struggles she faced while dating.

"Do I even risk going on a blind date?" she said.

Elly defended the way she looked saying it was just the way she was born and she could not change it.

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"I was born this way, just the way that you're born with blonde hair and someone else is born with red hair. I was born with one eye, and you were born with two eyes," Elly said.

Elly revealed the extent of her condition.

"I woke up to 500 comments saying things like 'she looks like something my dog threw up', 'burn her with fire', 'kill her with fire'" Carly Findlay said. Photo / Facebook
"I woke up to 500 comments saying things like 'she looks like something my dog threw up', 'burn her with fire', 'kill her with fire'" Carly Findlay said. Photo / Facebook

"I don't have any feeling in my eyes. Someone could just poke me in the eye and I wouldn't feel it," she said.

Later in the episode, Ms Findlay revealed the time she wound up on social media site Reddit after her photo was shared to millions of users worldwide.

"In 2013 my photo ended up on the 'What The F***' forum,' she said.

"I woke up to 500 comments saying things like 'what does her vagina look like', 'she looks like something my dog threw up', 'burn her with fire', 'kill her with fire'.

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"And I was just like 'what?'."

"I wrote a Facebook status about it and said 'while you were making fun of a stranger on the internet, I was seeing one of my favourite bands and then spent the night with my boyfriend'," she said.

"[I said] 'I'm really happy and you're just miserable in the basement on your computer"'.

The guests were also asked if people "pitied" them, to which most revealed pity and sympathy was one of their most hated reactions.

"Sometimes you just see it in their face," Ms Higgins said.

Mr Dowling said he experienced it, with some people simply saying "Oh you poor man" and nothing else.

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"They'll say 'oh you poor thing' or 'it must be so hard being like you'," Ms Findlay said.

"I've had people cry at me on buses, saying 'oh I feel so sorry to be you'" Ms Downes said.
To which she replied: "Why? I'm just going to work."

The show prompted social media users to flock to online forums to discuss what they'd watched.

"Wow, wow, wow, they made me laugh, they made me think, they made me ponder, but most of all they simple made me smile!" a man called Mark posted to Twitter.

"Congratulations Carly Findlay and all the crew for making Australians think twice tonight when someone looks different," another Twitter user said.

"Strength, humour, bravery. Remarkable TV," another said.

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Ms Findlay also took to Twitter following the show.

Ms Findlay took to Twitter following the show to say she did not want pity nor prayers. Photo / Twitter
Ms Findlay took to Twitter following the show to say she did not want pity nor prayers. Photo / Twitter

The disability activist said "I don't want pity and please don't pray for me ... "

"I do not want prayers. [It] serves me no purpose. Makes the prayer giver feel better."

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