Stoptober - Diary of a Quitter: Day 1

Journalist Matthew Backhouse chronicles his efforts to quit smoking for Stoptober in a daily diary.

Smoking, Andrew Little recently declared, is one of "life's little pleasures".

I know it's unfashionable right now to agree with anything the Labour leader says, but he's got a point. There's something irresistible about that rush of nicotine - at times exhilarating, at others calming. I've been chasing those little moments of pleasure for half my life.

But now it's time to stop.

There's a cliche among smokers - we're quite aware of the risks, but we do it anyway. We know all the statistics. We're aware of all the poisons and carcinogens we're pumping into our bodies. We know all about the financial burdens we're placing on our families and the health system. We're not ignorant. We smoke because we like it - consequences be damned.

What we don't acknowledge so freely is that the cliche is more than trite - it's self-justifying nonsense. It's the addiction talking. And it's time to stub it out.

I've quit successfully twice before. The second time was when my partner was expecting our son, now two years' old. I went for the better part of a year without a cigarette.

But slowly, like second-hand smoke wafting into the bar from the beer garden, cigarettes drifted back into my life. I told myself I was a casual smoker. That I only smoked when drinking. That I could quit again anytime I wanted. I kept telling myself that even when the first thing I did in the morning was light up. I've tried to quit again and again in the past year. But eventually, I had to face up to it. I was a smoker again.

I want this time to be different. I don't want my son to grow up with a dad who smokes. I don't ever light up around him, but second-hand smoke lingers on clothes. Smoking wastes money that should be going towards his future. And he'll soon be old enough to question why I'm always "popping outside". I don't want to have to tell him it's because I'm slowly killing myself.

So that's the motivation behind my Stoptober challenge. That, and my colleagues, who coerced me into it. They're being incredibly supportive - one colleague has promised to take up smoking again this month. You know, to round things out.

I hope you'll join me here each day as I chronicle my quitting journey. There will likely be highs and lows. There will inevitably be some low-level profanity. And hopefully, there'll be some levity along the way.

To take part in Stoptober, visit www.stoptober.nz

For help quitting, visit Quitline at www.quit.org.nz or phone 0800 778 778