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Home / Lifestyle

Steve Braunias: The secret horoscopes 2024, part 2

Steve Braunias
By Steve Braunias
Senior Writer·NZ Herald·
12 Jan, 2024 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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2023 has not been short of memorable events. NZ Herald video covered them all. Video / NZ Herald
Steve Braunias
Opinion by Steve Braunias
Steve Braunias writes for the Listener and Newsroom.
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OPINION:

CANCER (June 22-July 23)

He tangata takahi manuhiri, he marae puehu: “A person who mistreats his guest has a dusty marae.” It’s not about you, it’s about all of us. Your tendency to speak brutal truths has the potential to go horribly wrong in 2024. You have miles to go before you can sleep. When you get there, you won’t be able to wake up. The drugs will help. Gambling has its virtues. Bet your life on a principle. Bathe often, and see your family doctor.

  • Steve Braunias: The secret horoscopes 2024, part 1

LEO (July 24-August 22)

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Whāia te iti kahurangi ki te tūohu koe me he maunga teitei: “Seek the treasure you value most dearly. If you bow your head, let it be to a lofty mountain.” No, I’ve no idea what that means either, but its truth will be revealed to you and you alone in winter. Restrict your shopping to food and petrol. Make no important decisions. Prepare to wait it out till Armageddon. Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean End Times aren’t coming.

VIRGO (August 23-September 22)

He mahi te ataa noho, e kii ana te wheke: “It is the octopus who says sitting is working.” Wise old octopus! Please, stay seated; you do your best work when not moving a muscle and letting everyone else do the work. It’s called delegating. Ready for a new beginning? Strike even if the iron is lukewarm. Better sooner than later. 2024 is about surrendering to the universe and trusting that it’s not going to end badly. Avoid conflict, Hamilton, and gluten-free products.

LIBRA (September 23-October 23)

Kāore te kūmara e kōrero mō tōna ake reka: “The kūmara does not speak of his own sweetness.” Well – yes and no. It’s perfectly acceptable for the kūmara to take pride in their appearance, and monetise on it. Travel beckons. Head for the west coast of another continent. Fame is waiting; be punctual. Accept gifts, praise and love from someone who has always been there for you. You know what they want in return and it’s not much to ask.

SCORPIO (October 24-November 22)

Tama tu tama ora, tama noho tama mate: “An active person will remain healthy while a lazy one will become sick.” In which case find someone healthy to carry the load. You’ve been through a lot; 2024 is spelled R-E-S-T. Make headway on a manuscript or a special paper. Legal and medical matters are favoured. Roll with the punches. Stay calm. Get close to the heat. In the great fire of 1666, half of London was burned down but only six people were injured.

SAGITTARIUS (November 23-December 22)

Iti noa ana he pito mata: “From the withered tree, a flower blooms.” Yes, but not quite yet. This year is the beginning of an eight-year cycle for you. The benefits are a long way off and now’s the time to make sacrifices. You might be promoted to a leadership role. You might take a personal interest in criminal justice. You might covet thy neighbour’s spouse. You might see a profit margin in sustainable practices. There is no such thing as might not.

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