NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather forecasts

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
    • The Great NZ Road Trip
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
    • Cooking the Books
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • What the Actual
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Steve Braunias: The man who ate Lincoln Rd's doughnut dilemma

Steve Braunias
By Steve Braunias
Senior Writer·NZ Herald·
8 Apr, 2016 03:53 AM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Lincoln Rd, as that great, teeming bazaar of the people's food, is awash in doughnuts. Photo / Michael Craig

Lincoln Rd, as that great, teeming bazaar of the people's food, is awash in doughnuts. Photo / Michael Craig

Steve Braunias
Opinion by Steve Braunias
Steve Braunias writes for the Listener and Newsroom.
Learn more
Steve Braunias is on a mission to eat at each one of the 55 food joints on Lincoln Rd in West Auckland. • Episode seven: Hollywood Bakery and Little Sister

The man who ate Lincoln Rd has the maths on doughnuts. I estimate I've eaten about 20 every year since I was five. I'll help you out: that's 1000 doughnuts. Let me say at once that I quote this figure with enormous pride. Not everyone can measure their life in doughnuts.

Lincoln Rd, as that great, teeming bazaar of the people's food, is awash in doughnuts. I scoffed two this week from two completely different cafes - Hollywood Bakery, and Little Sister, which is actually around the corner from Lincoln Rd, and probably fancies itself as a little bit above it all.

O Hollywood Bakery! O mysterious claim to glamour. There's nothing remotely Hollywood about this successful franchise, which has 45 cafes throughout Auckland, and another three in Hamilton. It's basically a greasy spoon. It's cheap and cheerful, and justly famous for its offer of a free muffin with coffee.

My favourite Hollywood Bakery is downtown, in Wyndham St. They do an amazing sausage wrapped in something like a croissant. You should try it at once. It's at the far left of the warming tray, closest to the front window.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

It wasn't on offer at Lincoln Rd. However the cafe did have an interesting looking sausage thing called a cabonossi ($3.80), the cajun chicken panini ($6.50) looked worth a try, and the lemon castella cake ($3.40) was the best sponge I've seen in years.

But you can't go past a doughnut. I ordered what may have been specimen number 1,001 for $3, and took it to my table with a cup of tea.

Lincoln Rd Hollywood Bakery is a franchise literally in the shadow of another franchise: the Warehouse. It cowers beneath the Red Shed like a dog.

The relationship seems fraught. No less than three notices were taped to the bakery's toilet advising Warehouse customers that they couldn't just barge in and use it. They had to use the one in the Warehouse, or if that were out of order, they had to ask permission to use the toilet for Warehouse staff. I will read any kind of literature but I think their epic toilet narrative needed editing.

To the doughnut. It was dry. It was bland. It didn't have enough icing sugar on it. But then everything was transformed once I got to the fresh cream and squirt of raspberry.

It was like a tidal wave of goodness. It created a kind of symphony; I could hear trumpets, drums, possibly even a bassoon, as the cream and raspberry squirt combined to work its magic on the doughnut. My life in doughnuts, I reflected, had been well spent.

Discover more

Opinion

Steve Braunias: The man who ate Lincoln Rd lunches at Sierra with two 'Westie chicks'

11 Mar 09:54 PM
Opinion

Steve Braunias' Secret Diary of The Bachelor

11 Mar 04:00 PM
Opinion

Steve Braunias: The man who ate Lincoln Rd rates Sal's pizza

18 Mar 12:09 AM
Opinion

Steve Braunias' Secret Diary of Parliament

18 Mar 04:00 PM

READ MORE: Steve Braunias rates: • Sal's Pizza • Sierra cafe • Moto Sushi

A few days later I went with the family to Little Sister behind Lincoln Rd on Central Park Drive. I'm told it's the best café in West Auckland.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

It was packed and noisy and happy. It had Star Trek toys - I've never seen a Lieutenant Uhura doll before - and creative handwriting on the blackboard menu. The food was fresh, bought from local suppliers, and the eggs were free-range. This and that was gluten free.

Emily had a green smoothie served in a mason jar. Minka had hot cakes with blueberry lemon something. I had the hash with a cup of tea. The bill: $45. All good, and then we shared a doughnut.

It was a weird mirror image of the Hollywood Bakery doughnut. That is, the doughnut itself was beautiful, sweet, moist, tender, and there was a lot of it, too. But the filling was custard. Custard! In a doughnut! Ridic. Custard belongs in - duh! - custard pies. It has no place in or even near a doughnut.

Emily and Minka claimed it was delicious, but they have eaten far, far less than 1000 doughnuts, and their opinions are invalid.

To the ratings. Hollywood Bakery gets a five out of 10 for the doughnut, and a perfect 10 for the fresh cream. Little Sister gets a perfect 10 for the doughnut, and a minus 10 for the custard. I'll help you out with the maths: that's a big fat zero. The doughnut governor has spoken.

•All views expressed are the author's.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
Lifestyle

What's the best way to wake up?

15 May 06:00 PM
Royals

Prince Harry’s popularity sinks after BBC interview attacking King

15 May 07:15 AM
Premium
Opinion

Opinion: I’m a GP - these are the six most commonly asked questions

15 May 06:00 AM

Sponsored: How much is too much?

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
What's the best way to wake up?

What's the best way to wake up?

15 May 06:00 PM

New York Times: What experts say about snooze buttons, sunlight and sleeping in.

Prince Harry’s popularity sinks after BBC interview attacking King

Prince Harry’s popularity sinks after BBC interview attacking King

15 May 07:15 AM
Premium
Opinion: I’m a GP - these are the six most commonly asked questions

Opinion: I’m a GP - these are the six most commonly asked questions

15 May 06:00 AM
Their adopted pig charmed the world. Then their romance crumbled

Their adopted pig charmed the world. Then their romance crumbled

15 May 03:45 AM
Sponsored: Cosy up to colour all year
sponsored

Sponsored: Cosy up to colour all year

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • What the Actual
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven CarGuide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP