Taryn Cumming and her fiance gave birth to Piper and Ryan (pictured) four days apart using sperm from a donor found on Facebook. Photo / Dean Purcell.
Taryn Cumming and her fiance gave birth to Piper and Ryan (pictured) four days apart using sperm from a donor found on Facebook. Photo / Dean Purcell.
A woman who used a sperm donor she found on Facebook to get pregnant is about to launch a match-making website for others searching for a donor.
Auckland couple Taryn Cumming and her partner hit headlines in 2020 when they both got pregnant within weeks of each other using the same sperm donor they found online.
The pair gave birth within days of each other with son Ryan and daughter Piper completing their dream of being a family.
Now, with two toddlers in the house, Cumming wants to help others unable to get pregnant via the traditional route find the perfect sperm donor.
Spurred by a three-year wait list for a donor and a hefty price tag at fertility specialists, Cumming last night launched the website The Gift of Family.
"It has been a long process getting it ready. I think it is going to be a bit of a game changer," Cumming said.
"After our experience, I wanted to create a safe platform where people can get information, find a donor and connect with others who are going through the same process."
Instead of navigating the minefield of social media groups, donors can set up a profile and include their family history, ethnicity, height, eye colour and hair colour.
"They can fully customise it so they don't have to repeat themselves over and over," Cumming said.
Despite profiles including physical attributes, Cumming said most couples looked more for a personal connection.
"Some want a donor to match their ethnicity but are open with all other attributes."
Once an initial match had been made the donor and recipient would meet in person or via video call to if they were suited and to work out a contract.
Most contracts have details on finances, what will appear on the birth certificate and when and how much detail from the donor will be passed on to the child.
The site will also link surrogates and egg donors who will then be referred to a clinic.
The website will have information on the legal process and templates for contracts between donor and recipient which have been drawn up by a lawyer.
Cumming said there would be strict community standards on the site to ensure the safety of recipients.
There were already donor groups on social media but Cumming said the site would be safer, with strict monitoring and more control.
"We have heard of men in other groups pressuring women to meet and inseminate naturally when the woman has said she will only consider AI which is artificial insemination.
"If men do that on this site they will be blocked from the site."
She had also thought of safeguards to stop serial donors and non-genuine people abusing the site.
"I'm hoping with this we can eliminate this with the site and we will look at who has had a successful donation.
"I'd like to eventually come up with laws so private donors can only help with five or seven families."
Cumming said this was to stop serial donors such as American Kyle Gordy who was denied entry to New Zealand this year after he planned a "donation tour" to create Kiwi babies. Gordy is thought to be the biological father of dozens of children around the world.
American Kyle Gordy has fathered more than 58 children and was recently denied entry to New Zealand where he wanted to donate more sperm. Photo / Supplied
Cumming said serial donors were only "looking out for themselves" and using them risked donor-conceived children unknowingly forming a sexual relationship with a sibling.
"We will eliminate as much risk as we can on the site with the goal that only genuine people register and use it.
"I will do all I can to make sure this is a safe process for everyone involved."
Cumming said her site was a middle ground between using a donor from a fertility clinic and finding a donor on social media as she and her fiance had done.
"We want to help people who can not afford the clinic prices but want to avoid social media where there are fake profiles and misinformation."
She also runs the site Hapu Helpers which provides advice and support for people trying to get pregnant.
At New Zealand's biggest clinic, Fertility Associates, intrauterine insemination costs about $3500 per attempt or between $13,000 and $15,000 for in vitro fertilisation.
In New Zealand, same-sex female couples can access IUI or IVF but have to pay the costs themselves.
Cumming met with Fertility Associates this week to discuss concerns.
She said it was a positive meeting and although the organisation would always be against private donations there was great discussion.
Andrew Murray from Fertility Associates warned there were pitfalls of going straight to the source for sperm donations. Photo / Supplied
Dr Andrew Murray, medical director at Fertility Associates, said despite best intentions other donor platforms did not have as many safeguards as regulated clinics.
He understood women might look elsewhere because of wait times but he "would strongly counsel them against this.
"For their own health, there is a risk of infection if the donors have not been properly screened for things like STIs, hepatitis and HIV.
"To protect women from these things, donor sperm in clinics is quarantined until infections have been ruled out."
He said Fertility Associates donors were screened for 289 genetic conditions.
They are also protected financially.
"By going through a clinic, women and donors are protected by the HART (Human Assisted Reproductive Technology) Act which means donors are not financially obligated for the upbringing of the future child, and importantly neither do they have any custodial rights.
"We know that children who are donor-conceived usually want to know their biological origins."
Murray questioned whether donors found through a website or online service would be willing to be identified in the future.
He also warned of the issues around serial donors such as Gordy and Australian Adam Hooper, who is currently in New Zealand and has donated sperm to Kiwi women.
Donor Andrew Hooper arrived in New Zealand two weeks ago to donate sperm. Photo / @spermdonationworld
"My experience is that most donors are amazing guys motivated by altruism to help others," Murray said.
He said serial donors were donating for the wrong reasons.
"Skiting that they have conceived 40-plus children like this is some sort of badge of honour, or using desperate women to fund their travels under the guise of helping them."
Murray said there had been examples of non-clinic donors trying to involve themselves in the lives of the recipient families later on when this attention was not wanted.
"Through clinics, the future relationships are carefully worked out with pre-treatment counselling for all parties involved."
He acknowledged long wait times citing a shortage of sperm and sperm donors.
"I would encourage any man who would like to be a donor to call us. We want to hear from you.
"We need more donors to help reduce the waiting times but let's not short circuit the protections that are there for everyone involved – the donor, the recipients and most importantly the children who might be conceived."
