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Home / Lifestyle

Son's heartbreak as 89yo mum with dementia forced behind fence in care home during family visits

NZ Herald
24 Nov, 2020 02:05 AM3 mins to read

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      Son's heartbreak as 89yo mum with dementia forced behind fence in care home during family visits. Video / Care Campaign For The Vulnerable

      The son of a frail 89-year-old with dementia has exposed how he was forced to talk to his mother through a wires mesh fence while visiting her at her care home.

      Scottish man Brian Halliday told Metro his mother was placed in the care home a week before lockdown, and claims her condition has severely deteriorated during her time in care.

      In the last nine months, Halliday has only been allowed one indoor visit which lasted just 30 minutes and had her mother in tears.

      He claims the home has been obstructive when he has tried to visit Anges, who is also a great-grandmother.

      Agnes' treatment was so poor Halliday said she asked her son if he could help end her life.

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      "Every time I went to see her she was begging me to help her commit suicide.

      "At first we had window visits but then they made it really difficult to see my mother ... you could see the tears and terror in her face as they were taking her away.

      "She was asking them if she could give me a cuddle but they took her away and threw me out of the building.

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      "Now I am just fighting to get some time with her before she dies."

      89-year-old Agnes, who has dementia, was forced to have family visits behind a wired mesh fence inside her care home in Scotland. Photo / Care Campaign for the Vulnerable
      89-year-old Agnes, who has dementia, was forced to have family visits behind a wired mesh fence inside her care home in Scotland. Photo / Care Campaign for the Vulnerable

      He says her mum's biggest fear was her family was going to leave her in there.

      Halliday promised her they'd never leave her but have found the care home has been making visits extremely difficult.

      Halliday says his mum looks 10 years older despite only being in for nine months.

      "She has lost a huge amount of weight and she broke her hips twice," he told Metro.

      "I saw her in her hospital because I am her carer and the person closest to her, and there needed to be someone to sit with her while we waited for the results of her X-rays and examinations. For the four hours we waited she couldn't hold a conversation."

      Halliday has since taken a photo of the conditions he and his mum face during visiting time and has contacted Care Campaign for the Vulnerable.

      While the home has had to put in measures to prevent the risk of Covid-19, there has been an outcry from families saying they're being prevented from seeing and having personal contact with their loved ones.

      An East Lothian Health and Social Care Partnership spokesperson responded, saying they are doing their best to give families the best interaction possible while following Covid restrictions.

      "We know how difficult the Covid restrictions are for relatives, but most are very supportive because they know the restrictions are vital in keeping residents and staff safe and well.

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      "All our ELHSCP care homes do everything they can under the Covid guidance to ensure that relatives and residents are able to meet in person, by phone and online, and also keep up to date with life in the homes on social media.

      "Our care home staff regularly update nominated family members on how their relatives are doing.

      "All of our care homes offer meetings in pleasant surroundings, indoors and outdoors, and work with families to ensure that they are able to meet regularly, as long as they can conform to Covid guidance."

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