The unfamiliar equipment and potential for embarrassment may have put you off learning to ski, but brace yourself: there's a whole new language to learn as well. On the plus side you'll be addicted to the buzz of gliding down the chilly snow slope in mere minutes.
Snowplanet's GrabOne First Timers deal is the perfect intro: a 50-minute private lesson followed by an hour on the slope.
When I tell the instructors, Justin and Michelle, that we've literally never touched snow their smiles don't waver. They have plenty of patience for Never-Evers. Michelle helps my pink-cheeked 7-year-old, Nate, with his helmet.
"Getting hot?" she laughs.
We have, after all, piled on most of the winter clothing we own in preparation for the -5C snow dome at Silverdale, just north of Auckland.
Inside, people move at two distinct speeds: incredibly fast or very slow. I make those in the latter category look nimble - awkwardly plodding in my ski boots as if I have no knees and my feet are encased in concrete.
Michelle and Justin stroll about as if they're wearing jandals on a beach.
While Michelle teaches the children about making a pizza slice shape with their feet, Justin tells me about the equipment and how it works.
"The bottom of the ski slides. The metal on the sides is to grip the snow."
Without little nuggets like this throughout the lesson, I'd still be scissoring my legs helplessly back and forth rather than kicking my skis sideways into the snow to walk halfway up the beginner's slope. We glide back down - Justin travelling backwards to act as my safety net - and me practising my snow plough or pizza.
"Never cross the skis over," he warns me. "That's alarm sirens and flashing lights material."
Within minutes I get a demonstration of what he means. The children are on the platter lift heading further up the slope when Nate's skis snag and he crumples on to the snow. I don't have time to even gasp before the entire lift stops and a staff member is picking him up.
Justin sees my relief
"We alert the attendants when there are newbies on the slope," he explains. "They keep an eye out for them."
It's my turn. The ski mat conveyor belt-style travellator takes us to the top of Bunny Hill - the beginners slope.
"I take a breath and at Justin's instruction, use my poles to push forward. And then stop.
"Um, yeah, maybe just a touch more speed to get off the flat."
Justin's humour is invaluable because I'm quietly terrified.
I start with French fries - the skis parallel - and then make my pizza by pushing out my heels to slow down. But I'm sliding too fast for comfort and the skis aren't responding to my panicky voice command "stop stop stop".
"Press on my hands." Justin the safety net is there to prevent me crashing. "Now let's work on how to stop."
From here, each run down the slope is followed by a few extra instructions and by the end of the lesson I'm following Justin's gentle 'S' shapes down with the kids following behind me.
There are high fives at the bottom.
"You did great!" Justin and Michelle are beaming. I'm feeling ridiculously proud and exhilarated.
After a few more runs down the ski slope we try out tubing. I'm told the smaller rings go faster down the slope, so I grab a larger size. It turns out my adult bulk gives me the speed I wasn't craving and I bounce into wee Nate in his tube.
We're laughing so hard we can barely stand at the bottom.
It's a great non-skier activity - there are other parents enjoying the tubing run with their kids before heading inside to the restaurant for a meal.
The kids' request for a skiing holiday has previously been met with a non-committal answer but on the car ride home from Snowplanet, the answer is "absolutely" ... and the place to perfect our skiing skills is just a short drive away.
Need to know
GrabOne has some terrific deals for skiing, snowboarding and tubing, lessons, school holiday programmes, kids' parties, day pass discounts and more at Snowplanet. Go to grabone.co.nz
Debbie and her kids were guests of GrabOne.