KEY POINTS:
Auckland may be a sprawling mass of interconnected cities and suburbs, but sometimes this fair city of ours is just too damn small.
Now before you all go accusing me of hypocrisy, having defended Auckland just weeks ago, let me say, I am not reneging on any of my previous comments.
But even the most ardent Auckland fans have to admit there are times when you wish this town were a little bigger. That there were a few more people in the fray.
What's brought this on, you may well ask? Two words: Saturday night.
Having recovered from last week's illness, some girlfriends convinced me to come out to dinner. They were having a boozy get together with old uni mates and, as I knew most of them, I was welcome to tag along.
So off we go to a local BYO, where we enjoy a pleasant Thai meal before one of the girls (who I didn't know and whose name I can't quite remember) announces her friends are having a party and why don't we all head along.
"Sure, why not?" we exclaimed. Everyone loves a party. So we pile in a taxi and head off to this seemingly random event.
Of course, when we arrive, it emerges it is not random at all. In typical Auckland fashion, we discover we know at least 90 per cent of the people there. Which isn't necessarily a good thing.
As we negotiate our way through the crammed house, we stop and say hello to various people. When suddenly I turn around and find myself faced with three boys - all of whom I know somewhat intimately.
*Choke*
"Hey kids . . . how are you?" I say externally.
Internally, my head is screaming: "What the hell? Since when have you all been mates! How, HOW does this happen to me? Of all the people in the world to be at this bloody party and talking together. Seriously!"
Meanwhile, it slowly dawns on people around us the hilarity of the situation. Winks fly and giggles ensue as I endeavour to make polite small talk.
Finally I can take it no more and excuse myself to "find my friends" (translation: Throw myself under the next bus I see).
Yes, I know it is my own fault. If I were more stringent with my morals I would never find myself in such a predicament. But shit happens. And sometimes I wish Auckland were just a little bigger.
