Sir Graham Henry: ‘You learn much more from adversity than you do from success’

Former All Black Coach Sir Graham Henry believes he's learnt more from his failures than his successes. Photo / Michael Craig

Kiwis pride themselves on their resilience, but how do we cope when the going gets tough? In new podcast series The Upside, Scotty Stevenson sits down with well-known New Zealanders across six episodes as they share their own personal journeys with their mental health and their tips for getting back on the up.

Sir Graham Henry is one of New Zealand’s most successful All Blacks coaches, with an 85 per cent winning record to his name. Along the way he’s faced intense pressure, come face-to-face with failure, and experienced some incredible highs.

Now, the father of three and grandfather of five tells The Upside podcast host Scotty Stevenson he wouldn’t change a thing - and why.

Reflecting on his career, Henry says it’s the losses that taught him the most.

After an unsuccessful bid to coach the All Blacks in the 1990s, he left New Zealand and went on to coach Wales and then the British & Irish Lions - whose 2001 test series loss left him in what he now believes was a bout of depression.

“I was just completely shot. I had just had no energy, no get up and go,” he tells Stevenson.

“I just lay on the bed at home. Didn’t want to talk to anybody. Didn’t want to do anything. It was the first time I hadn’t been successful ... I just give my heart and soul to everything, and I just didn’t have any energy left. It was all gone.”

He still had 18 months left on his contract with Wales, but he knew he had to “get out and recharge”. Henry resigned and returned to New Zealand and his home city of Christchurch, where he recalls how getting outside and running every day helped him recover mentally.

“It’s amazing, the connection between the physical and the mental, and I slowly became better and better and better,” he says.

Looking back, Henry says, “You learn much more from adversity than you do from success. And it changed my life. Changed how I coached, changed how I conducted myself as an individual.”

It was then that he landed the coveted role of head coach for the All Blacks. The highs and lows of that journey are well-documented, particularly New Zealand’s devastating quarter-final loss to France at the 2007 Rugby World Cup.

“We got complacent, no doubt,” Henry reflects. “We just got ahead of ourselves ... complacency [is] the biggest evil in sport. And in personal development, I dare say, as well.

Wayne Smith and Sir Graham Henry. Photo / Photosport

“We got comfortable looking forward to the semifinal, didn’t make it. Hardest day of my life, I think.”

Henry tells Stevenson his wife Raewyn has been his biggest supporter through it all, saying what she means to him is “beyond words”.

According to Henry, the strength of their relationship is down to “giving each other space to do your own thing and supporting each other” especially during the difficult times.

“That’s what life’s about. You’re going to have challenges. You’re going to have adversity. You’re going to have difficult times, but that’s when you learn the most.

“I wonder whether we’re trying to protect our kids from difficult times and adversity,” Henry muses.

“Obviously you don’t want to go through those things, but that’s living. And you learn from that and you get stronger, and hopefully you get better, and hopefully you survive.”

The former All Blacks head coach counts himself “lucky” to have learned from his life experiences, many of which have involved taking a leap of faith.

“If you don’t push yourself out there, it’s a boring old life, I’d imagine.”

All six episodes of The Upside are available on iHeart Radio now