Halfway through her pregnancy, Sinead is thinking a lot about actor Pedro Pascal but her favourite screen star is her daughter, squirming in a 4D video.
I am halfway through. The end is nigh, almost, sort of. My belly nearly looks like a real pregnant tummy instead of my regular chubby version and I can now feel my daughter wriggling around like a little fish. Of all the stuff pregnancy throws at you, that’s the one cool thing – feeling them move so you know they’re real and they’re doing okay in there. But I won’t lie, there is a lot of crap when it comes to growing a person inside your body. Here’s what I’ve learned at 20 weeks pregnant.
Your social life may dry up because pregnant people are okay to have brunch with but not very much fun at the pub. And on the odd occasion you are invited out on a Saturday night, you won’t last past 9pm anyway because being the only sober person is boring and lonely. Also, I’m sorry to say, but the smug novelty of waking up not hungover on a Sunday morning wears off after the first weekend, especially when being pregnant makes you feel like s*** anyway.
It’s okay not to marvel at what a beautiful and wonderful thing your body is, creating life blah blah. I think it’s probably perfectly normal to instead look at your sore, swollen and unfamiliar shape in the mirror and burst into tears. I personally do not feel sexy and womanly, I feel achy and bloated and gross. Very normal. Try not to do what I do, which is look at your old flat-stomached Instagram photos and weep hysterically. Instead wrap your poor, sore bod up in a dressing gown, eat some peanut M&M’s and remember J. Lo birthed twins and still got her abs back eventually so all is not lost.
You might not enter a love bubble of obsession over your partner. Instead, jacked up on hormones, you may fantasise about leaving them for Pedro Pascal. Instead of browsing for breast pumps you may google “Pedro Pascal nude scenes” and sign up for the green card lottery so you can move to the US to be with him. You will convince yourself he will look past your stretch marks and haemorrhoids because he is not just ruggedly hot but also kind of heart. You know he will, without a doubt, be a great stepfather to your unborn child.
