After weight loss surgery it's the perspective that takes the greatest shift, writes Siena Yates.
By far the weirdest part of weight loss surgery is how differently you look at food afterwards.
Before my surgery, I followed a lot of people on social media to see what life was like on
the other side. I remember seeing a lot of post-op "meals" - for example, a tiny chicken wing, a dessertspoon of mashed potato and a couple of broccoli florets - and thinking, "Nope."
To pre-op me, it looked like what you would serve a baby. Now, post-op me looks at those tiny meals with awe.
Suddenly, they look massive. Impossibly so. I can't even imagine eating them without going into a food coma and/or immediately vomiting like a 2020 remake of The Exorcist.
The other day I had a quarter of a cup of (blended up) seafood chowder (ya girl has graduated from liquids to purees!) and proceeded to blob out on the couch, feeling like I'd just eaten three Christmas dinners at once.
Today I made my normal pre-op serving of porridge and genuinely couldn't fathom how I used to eat it. I split that serving into three meals, which probably should've been four, but learning these new portions ought to be a full-time degree.
The other weird - and wildly paradoxical - thing is that I've never been more obsessed with food than I am now.
I'm constantly thinking about when I need to eat next and what I can eat that will get me enough protein but won't require an exorcism or turn me into Melissa McCarthy in that infamous scene from Bridesmaids either (yes, THAT one).
On the plus side, the online community you become a part of is such a comfort. People share recipes, product recommendations and even the products themselves - one woman is sending me a variety of multivitamins to try as we're both having the same struggle to find one that has everything we need but doesn't make us throw up - taking pills is an epic struggle with a thumb-sized stomach, you guys.
In these groups, people also share their struggles so others feel less alone, which I think is beautiful. However, one of the more common concerns is that people aren't losing weight after surgery - one woman was very distraught to find she'd actually gained a kilo in her first couple of weeks post-op. I get that we all want to see change (because then we'd know that we didn't go through all of this for nothing) but the way I see it, I've already done the most extreme thing I can do and adding pressure or perceived failure to that equation is as unhealthy as it is pointless, thus scales are the devil.
So on that note: this week's NSV (non-scale victory) is that I sat in a chair that is usually extremely tight and the arms dug into me a little less and I was a little more comfortable. I don't think I've lost much weight but the wrinkling of the skin on my belly and the extra few millimetres of comfort tell a story the scales can't show.
Next week: Steve Braunias