Should you shave to please your partner? Woman sparks debate

Do you shave for your partner? Photo / 123RF

A woman has sparked a heated debate over personal grooming in a long-term relationship - after admitting she was hurt when her husband hinted that she should shave more often.

Taking to the British parenting forum Mumsnet, the mother revealed that she's more or less stopped shaving under her arms and defuzzing her legs since the birth of her daughter who is now almost two.

She admitted she doesn't care what people think and feels no need to remove hair before going to the swimming pool or beach, but her husband has made several pointed remarks.

According to the Daily Mail, the issue divided users, as many questioned how to strike the balance between doing what makes you happy and fulfilling your partner's expectations.

Some slammed the woman for expecting her husband to be happy with the change in her appearance, and claimed he shouldn't be forced to find her attractive. Others urged her to do what she feels most comfortable with, and suggested her husband's attitude could be linked to a deeper issue within the relationship.

One person wrote: "You are free to not shave, shave a picture of a unicorn or French plait your own hair. It is nobody's business but yours." Another said she could please him from time to time if she feels like it but said there's no need to "put his requirements in this department ahead of your own."

However, others said she was taking a risk by ignoring his preferences.

"Stop making excuses, otherwise it sounds like your dear husband might make his," one said. "This is the equivalent to checking out of yourself, whether you think it is or not."

Another warned: "You are free to choose whether to shave or not, however you can't force your husband to find it attractive. How much does it matter to you?"

The woman responded to saying that she doesn't feel the need to be "attractive at all times".

She explained: "He doesn't need to be evaluating my body sexually. I also don't like it being raised in arguments as if it's a weapon - that my lack of shaving is evidence f my disengagement from the relationship, when it really isn't."

Many users however questioned if there was a deeper reason for her husband bringing up the lack of shaving in arguments.

One person wrote: "I get the feeling he's trying to put you down to justify his lack of attention. I'd find it really hurtful because he should love you and find you sexy regardless of a bit of leg hair".