Shelley Bridgeman: Why we'll never see male contraception

There a few possible conspiracies that might lie behind the failure to provide men with the sort of fertility control that's been available to women since the 1960s. Photo / Getty

Where is this groundbreaking male contraceptive we keep hearing of? Sixteen years ago, in response to predictions that such a phenomenon was five years away, I wrote an article entitled "Who will trust men to take over birth control?" Then in 2011, still with no new male contraceptive device available, I wrote "Male contraception drug a hard pill to swallow." At that time the innovation was supposed to be a mere three years away.

Well, 2017 is just around the corner and that deadline is also long gone. I don't know about anyone else, but I've pretty much given up hope that the holy grail that is the male equivalent of the game-changing pill for women will materialise. (Furthermore, I've discovered that this theoretical innovation is unlikely to be a pill and more likely to be administered by injection.)

I've been pondering the potential reasons and imagining a few possible conspiracies that might lie behind the failure to provide men with the sort of fertility control that's been available to women since the 1960s. Here are just eight of them.

1. Physiology

It is a truth universally acknowledged that it is more complicated to tweak the functionality of millions of sperm than it is to deal with a single egg each month.

2. Asymmetry

As I pointed out in my first article, women are far more interested in controlling their fertility than men are: "they are the ones who bear the brunt of any contraceptive lapse. They are the ones who have to face the repercussions through the years." Biology dictates women bear the children but - thanks to society, tradition and the patriarchy - the majority of child-wrangling is also performed by women (whether they are operating within the context of solo parenthood, a functional relationship or a broken marriage). It will take generations and a significant shift of mindset before men view contraception with the same degree of urgency as women.

3. Demand

Having access to a variety of effective and safe forms of contraception is a men's rights issue. Men have as much right to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy as women do. There are some men who feel very strongly about this issue. But clearly these men are in the minority. Surely if there was genuine demand for brand new state-of-the-art "invisible" male contraception, drug companies would already have launched the product.

4. Higher standard

I'm going to go out on a limb here and hypothesise that where men's contraception is involved, higher standards are required. I just reckon (partly because the stakes aren't as high for them) that men are likely to be fussier about the offering than women are. They will want optimum "arm's length" convenience rather than have to take daily action. They will want an absence of side-effects; "low to mild" just won't make the grade with blokes.

5. A feminist conspiracy

If I was a man who'd been keenly anticipating a new male contraceptive for years and years, I'd be starting to attribute its failure to appear on some vast feminist conspiracy. I'd be thinking that women don't want men to finally be able to have the right of veto as to whether they will have a child. It would be the ultimate (possibly even secret) weapon against those conniving women who plot an "accidental" pregnancy to spite a male partner who wants to remain childfree.

6. Reluctant drug companies

If the pharmaceutical industry thought this would be a lucrative product, it would have been released by now. It might be too expensive to develop. The perceived target market might be too small. There might be more pressing health considerations. Furthermore, drug companies already have a captive market with women's contraceptive pills; there's no need to worry about male contraception. I reckon that somewhere along the line, for some reason, a fancy new male contraceptive has been dismissed as a niche product, a novelty item unworthy of serious investment.

7. Unmotivated scientists

How long have scientists around the world been working on this? I'd hate to think but it's years and years. Maybe it's about the level of difficulty or lack of funding. But, seriously, we can put people on the moon; how complicated is this really?

Clearly, these scientific folk and researchers need to try harder, think creatively and collaborate. Perhaps they could try brainstorming. Write crazy ideas on a whiteboard and don't judge. Maybe it's a motivation problem. Have they tried drawing pretty pictures of sperm being annihilated? Maybe they could visualise finding a solution to the male contraception problem and imagine how good they'll feel when they succeed. That should do it.

8. Squeamishness

The specifics of some of the male contraceptives on the horizon could make some people feel a little queasy. Vasalgel involves a gel being injected into the vas deferens. (Of course, that's no weirder than an IUD but this is men we're talking about; most of them aren't accustomed to this sort of invasive stuff.) Then there's the Clean Sheets Pill which inhibits the ... just kidding ... I'm not going there; maybe you could look up that one for yourselves. Thank you.