NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Shelley Bridgeman: What the fork? Six modern dining dilemmas

Shelley Bridgeman
By Shelley Bridgeman
Herald online·
2 Jan, 2016 06:00 PM5 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Communal dining can cause a range of problems with cross-eating and food thieves. Photo / iStock

Communal dining can cause a range of problems with cross-eating and food thieves. Photo / iStock

Shelley Bridgeman
Opinion by Shelley Bridgeman
Shelley Bridgeman is a columnist for Lifestyle at The New Zealand Herald.
Learn more
In case you missed it: This was one of Life & Style's biggest stories from 2015.

Thursday Nov 19, 2015

We're all taught to share from a very young age. So it should come naturally to us. Yet sharing food with others at a restaurant can be a minefield. When it comes to sharing, there are two distinct types of restaurants. There are those - such as Thai, Chinese, Indian and tapas style - in which sharing is a key (arguably even essential) part of the experience. Then there are the more conventional Kiwi restaurants where diners each order their own personal meal as well as some side dishes that may (or may not) be shared.

It all sounds very simple. The food is communal in the first example while in the second example the food on the plate in front of you is for your exclusive enjoyment. That would be the end of the story if it wasn't for the myriad pitfalls that can trap the unwary. Here are six potential difficulties associated with sharing meals when dining out.

1. No serving utensils

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Over recent years the number of restaurants specialising in sharing plates has increased dramatically. It's my favourite dining style for sure. It's relaxed, convivial and you get to try all sorts of flavours. What could go wrong? Well, the worst misstep is when serving utensils are not provided with the communal dishes. I have not seen this occur in traditional Thai, Chinese or Indian establishments. The restaurants that perpetrate this crime are those uber-trendy, well reviewed, too-cool-for-school, inner city places that make you feel that serving utensils must be so 2014.

In such places, diners are forced to use their own forks to scoop the food onto their individual plates. Clearly, this is pretty unhygienic once the forks have been used. When dining with the husband and daughter I don't mind this, but it's really awkward when you're not so closely connected to diners at your table.

Note to restaurants: if you are offering plates to share you need to ensure sharing can be facilitated without diners transmitting whatever diseases they have to others.

2. Requests to try your food

I don't think anyone has ever asked to taste food off my plate. This is good because I wouldn't be too receptive to the idea. In my book, you're either sharing communal food or you're eating your own food. Attempting to sample another person's individual meal just strikes me as random. Logistically, I'm not sure how it would work either since both forks would probably have already been used by the time you were ready to play swapsies. Unless you are relaxed about a cross-contamination situation, it's advisable to decline all requests from people who wish to taste your meal.

3. Chip thieves

I wouldn't be too happy if someone stole a chip from my plate without asking. What a liberty! Having said that, I don't hesitate to purloin French fries from my husband or daughter - because, you know, we're related. So what do you do if a random person at your table lurches towards your chips? If your reflexes are good you can slap their hand as it moves towards its target. Tempting as it may be, stabbing the offending hand with your fork is not recommended; it's unlawful and antisocial but, most importantly, you don't want to contaminate your fork.

4. Inappropriate pizza slicing

Do not leave contaminated pieces of pizza for your fellow diners. Photo / iStock
Do not leave contaminated pieces of pizza for your fellow diners. Photo / iStock

If you cut up a communal pizza with your knife and (used) fork you must take the piece of pizza that has had the fork in it. Do not leave the piece that your fork has contaminated for a fellow diner - unless, of course, they've annoyed you and you want to share your germs with them.

5. Sharing a pudding

These days, wait-staff frequently assume that people will share desserts. "And two spoons," they often add when my husband orders dessert and I do not. This, I reckon, would be annoying if you were the person who had ordered dessert but I think it's great. Sometimes all I feel like is two or three spoonfuls of crème brulee. But, again, desserts are best shared with significant others or maybe your offspring. My twelve-year-old, however, is not fond of sharing her pudding. Whenever she orders dessert I quite like adding: "And three spoons please" just to see the expression on her face.

Discover more

Opinion

Shelley Bridgeman: Does alfresco dining leave you cold?

20 Jun 10:00 PM
Opinion

Shelley Bridgeman: What makes you mad in restaurants?

05 Mar 10:45 PM
Opinion

Shelley Bridgeman: The rules of buffet dining

14 May 11:50 PM
Opinion

Shelley Bridgeman: Things I hate about restaurants

27 Nov 12:50 AM

6. Premeditated cross-eating

I have encountered stories of people who (in a traditional restaurant in which each diner orders their own meal) reckon the point of dining out is to sample as many dishes as possible. Say there are three of them at the table, they each eat a third of their own meal before passing it on to the next person who will then pass it on to the final diner once they've had their share. I'm not loving this model. Passing around a plate intended for a single diner just seems a bit clumsy. If you're keen to sample lots of different flavours then perhaps you could consider dining at an establishment that specialises in communal plates. There's certainly no shortage of those. You might like to bring your own serving utensils though; sometimes they can be hard to come by.

Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Lifestyle

Suzy Cato on overcoming redundancy, helping children, and why she's never met her biological father

21 Jun 07:00 PM
Premium
Lifestyle

Instagram wants Gen Z. What does Gen Z want from Instagram?

21 Jun 06:00 PM
Lifestyle

'Hero of my life': Tim Wilson on adoption, faith and fatherhood

21 Jun 05:00 PM

Help for those helping hardest-hit

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Suzy Cato on overcoming redundancy, helping children, and why she's never met her biological father

Suzy Cato on overcoming redundancy, helping children, and why she's never met her biological father

21 Jun 07:00 PM

The beloved children's entertainer has been entertaining young Kiwis for three decades.

Premium
Instagram wants Gen Z. What does Gen Z want from Instagram?

Instagram wants Gen Z. What does Gen Z want from Instagram?

21 Jun 06:00 PM
'Hero of my life': Tim Wilson on adoption, faith and fatherhood

'Hero of my life': Tim Wilson on adoption, faith and fatherhood

21 Jun 05:00 PM
Premium
'Two small boys left fatherless and their mother cast as a scarlet woman'

'Two small boys left fatherless and their mother cast as a scarlet woman'

20 Jun 10:00 PM
Inside Leigh Hart’s bonkers quest to hand-deliver a SnackaChangi chip to every Kiwi
sponsored

Inside Leigh Hart’s bonkers quest to hand-deliver a SnackaChangi chip to every Kiwi

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP