As parents, we can be influenced by the way we were raised by our own mums, dads and adult family members. The challenge with screen time is that it wasn’t something that existed when we were kids. Sure, we may have been told to stop watching TV or to get off our Amiga 500 and come to the table for dinner, but we didn’t have portable devices that could follow us everywhere and provide constant communication and a portal to internet land.
With the holiday season here, kids will likely have more time to spend on screens. Screen time could also be more of a challenge at home when Stanford’s ban on cellphones in schools first comes in and screen time routines change during the day. To help parents and caregivers navigate this tricky terrain, here are some practical, evidence-based tips to put in place while the kids are home.
Role-model positive behaviour
Kids pay attention to what their parents and caregivers say and do, so by modelling positive behaviour such as limiting the time we ourselves spend on devices, conflict and resistance are less likely to occur when you ask your child to put down their screen.
Have open, honest conversations to set expectations
Most of us these days, regardless of age, rely on our devices for social connection, so cutting this form of communication out without constructive conversations about why, can lead to conflict – especially during the holiday period when kids aren’t seeing their friends every day at school.
Have open and honest conversations with your child about screen time and work out a screen time schedule with them so that expectations around using devices are clear and your child feels they have some ownership over the process.
It’s also a good idea to make clear where it is and isn’t okay to use screens – such as during family meals or the critical hour before bedtime, then remember to praise your child when they meet these expectations.
Keep up with new technology
It’s important that as parents, we’re monitoring what our kids are doing online, so we’re aware that what they are viewing is age-appropriate and safe. But it can be hard to do this if we don’t understand the technology or application they’re using.
Staying up-to-date with new technology through talking to other parents, online research and chatting to your children about what they’re using will mean that you can more easily understand what they are up to online and whether there is anything to be concerned about.
Netsafe.org.nz is a good website to check for up-to-date tips and information about keeping safe online.
Don’t expect perfection
The holiday season presents challenges for many of us. This year was tough for a lot of families, and tackling heightened screen time is one more challenge to add to the list.
It’s okay not to get it right from the start – try looking at it as an ongoing learning opportunity for the entire family rather than a quick fix, as this will help reduce the stress associated with any changes you make. Also, go easy on yourself and be realistic – remember that sometimes screens are helpful distraction tools and it’s okay if you decide to resort to them from time to time when you’re having a challenging parenting day.
Michelle Melville-Smith is a psychologist for the Triple P – Positive Parenting Programme
