Exclusive vision of the Duchess plotting her next move. Photo / AP
Exclusive vision of the Duchess plotting her next move. Photo / AP
As the wail of trumpets fades in Windsor and we all begin to wonder why we cared so much, it's now an appropriate time to ask an urgent question: How can we Meghan Markle our way into the royal family?
Armed with nothing but a collection of edgy blazers anddating guide book The Rules, the Duchess of Sussex has proven it's a total cinch to waltz into Buckingham Palace and never leave. We've graciously waited a week, and now Meghan's old news. It's time to hatch a plan, reports news.com.au.
With William and Harry taken, who's left? Maybe a fringe royal. One who's technically attached to the family tree but whose branch is a fair climb away. That'll do. We're also willing to accept other monarchies.
Next week, NW magazine will probably release a pullout chart featuring the faces of various single princes from around the globe. Hang it above your computer and use a red felt pen to mark it with crosses and circles as your mission develops.
The mission to Meghan Markle the next available prince is a worldwide game. The frontrunner is His Royal Highness Prince Abdul Mateen, the son of the Sultan of Brunei. His family is worth $26 billion but he's just super down to earth and low-key.
After selecting our target, we embark on phase two: initiating contact. Stage two is the most difficult. It's hard to hurl your body over a palace moat without looking mildly desperate.
But once accomplished, it sets into motion stage three of securing an engagement within six months and stage four: #RoyalWedding2019.
A friend of a friend recently shared an expert tactic about marrying upwards. Desperate to secure someone rich, she paddleboarded around to Point Piper — Australia's most wealthy waterfront suburb — and floated in front of the mansions on Wosley Road while swiping away on Tinder.
